nahumoneseven

reminiscencing 2011

2011-12-31T22:56:00.001+08:00

The year came and went, like inthe blink of an eye……. I confess that I have not been regular in updating thisblog and as I come to a close of 2011, I figured that perhaps I should pen afew words as I remember the year and recount the many times I have been abeneficiary of a faithful and merciful God.

This was a year where I got anotherprefix to my name. But the significanceis perhaps not in the event itself but the Person who has entrusted this yoketo my charge. The prefix itself is anawesome responsibility and for me it is a constant and tangible reminder whose Iam and who I serve.

It was a year of ups and downs,for which the hardest was perhaps my mum’s fracture of her humerus (upperarm). The consultant at the hospitalrefused to operate on her citing age as a major consideration. “Was this some kind of ‘humourous’ celestial prank?”- was a thought that lingered at the back of my mind. The fear of losing her, a pillar of faith and lovein my life, seemed frighteningly and uncomfortably imminent. Yet when all the questions of ‘why’dissipated into a faith-stretching dependence upon the Lord, perhaps the goodthat came out of this episode was a great deal more time spent with mum. I have come to a deeper appreciation of thefragility of life and the significance of family.

The year has also seen manydevelopments - di-andreas’ wedding in May, di-teck haur’s change of status infatherhood, di-adalric’s enlistment into national service in Aug, ah di’sdeparture to Duke for research and completing his dissertation in Nov - have allhelped to wet my eyes and drive me more to my knees, aware of my own finitudeand dependent on the infinite resources of the Lord who has graciously allowedour paths to cross. I am constantlythankful to the Lord for each of my 弟s(brothers) - dennis, romans, edmund, bernard, ben, andreas, teck haur, kimkiat, nathanael and aldalric(the ‘baby’ of the family) - as well as my extended family in the US -jay and susan, court and lori, and neal. I cherish the times I spend with each and all of them and treasure eachof them. As with my mum, they are anintegral part of my life. They are theones for which “I would wander weary miles, would welcome ridicule… to simplysee the sunrise of their (your) smiles.” (michael card).

As I consider the year that issoon coming to a close, perhaps this one song best articulates mysentiments. It hasbrought me to tears many times on my way to the office, on the bus trips homefrom gym and on the mrt rides to and from tampines town.2012 bringsalong with it also many changes and expectations, but I know for certain thatthere is One who never changes and He will continue to see us through.

looking back at 2010

2010-12-31T13:48:00.006+08:00

The following is an excerpt from the sermon i shared at Watchnight service:

While I am overwhelmed by God’s gracious dealings with me, I must say that there are at least three things which I wished I hope could have been different if I were to relive 2010. I wouldn’t not classify them as a regret; it’s difficult to find the word for it…. It’s better described in the Chinese as 美中不足. So if there are any regrets for me, it would be these three:

#THREE One of the more significant regrets is that I had wasted my time in playing some of the Facebook games such as Farmville. While Facebook has been a great tool in getting connected with friends, It has in many ways altered our lifestyle in ways that are so subtle and deceptive. I make this humble confession to each of you for allowing Farmville to take up about 15 mins of my time daily as I harvest my farm and tend my animals. My farm has grown so much but sadly my farming activities does nothing, absolutely nothing to help me in furthering God’s kingdom. As such, as part of my reflecting of godly regrets, I no longer farm on Farmville now. So my Farmville neighbours, please forgive me if I no longer send you gifts. I believe I can spend the 15 minutes more productively daily, praying rather than farming.

#TWO My second ‘regret’ is that my mum was not with me at my commencement in May this year. It would have been great if she was there when I walked at my commencement. And besides finances, perhaps the greater difficulty was the long distance which would have been difficult for my mum. Yet I am comforted that two of my closest family members were with me at commencement.

#ONE My greatest regret has to be the fact that with all my theological education and qualification, I have not been an effective witness in sharing the gospel to my godbrother, who has yet to come to accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour. And here I ask for you to pray together with me that he and his family will come to know Jesus.

I look back to 2010 with fond memories..... but these three remain my greatest regrets for the year. I am reminded of Soren Kierkegaard's comment on life, that "life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward."

He cries WITH me......

2010-05-06T20:16:00.003+08:00

Well....this is way overdue.....

I am always thankful for these words in Hebrews 4:14 and 15,

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin.

The words above are so beautifully set in song and this song ministered a great deal to me. Read the lyrics before you listen to the song.

===================

Makin' a list of all of the good things you've done for me.
Lord, I've never been one to complain.
But, right now I'm lost, and I can't find my way.
My world's come apart, and it's breakin' my heart.
But it helps to know; Your heart is breaking too.

When I cry, You cry. When I hurt, You hurt.
When I've lost someone, it takes a piece of You too.
And when I fall on my face, You fill me with grace.
'Cause nothing breaks Your heart, or tears You apart
Like when I cry.

Alone in the dark, face in my hands cryin' out to You.
Lord, there's never been a time in my life,
There's so much at stake, there's so much to lose.
But I trust it to You. You'll bring me through.
And it helps me to know that I'm not alone.

When I cry, You cry. When I hurt, You hurt.
When I've lost someone, it takes a piece of You too.
And when I fall on my face, You fill me with grace.
'Cause nothing breaks Your heart, or tears You apart
Like when I cry.

You're the one who calmed the raging sea.
You're the one who made the blind to see.
You looked through all of heaven and eternity,
And through it all you saw me.

When I cry, You cry. When I hurt, You hurt.
When I've lost someone, it takes a piece of You too.
And when I fall on my face, You fill me with grace.
Nothing breaks Your heart, or tears You apart
Like when I cry.

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of prefixes and personhood

2009-11-16T11:41:00.007+08:00

It was my first Sunday at Wilmore and it didn’t help that I was beginning to face the stress that is attendant to this final phase of my studies. I went with Jerry (the other Singaporean doctoral student at Asbury) and his family to the church that they have been attending, First Alliance Church. What continually intrigues me about church services in USA is that they somehow manage to incorporate every part of the liturgy into a 75-minute service.

I thought that it was going to be that ‘typical’ worship service where we sing perhaps a couple of worship songs which are faster in tempo and almost predictably one which has bad theology (from ‘down under’ perhaps!) and hopefully at least one or two of our personal favourites, utter a few words during prayer and listen to a sermon that hopefully speaks to us, if we are not distracted in the first place or doze off, in the second.. If it was with this ‘routine’, that I was expecting, well….. it was not to be, because God showed up at that service.

It was a familiar worship song that is composed by Stuart Townend (yes, him again), How Deep the Father’s Love for us. And as I sang those words, there was this sense of deep unworthiness that sprang forth and welled up in my eyes. But there was this attendant sense that this was indeed the sheer grace of God. Not that I am inherently worthy because of my position, my prestige, my personality, my pedagogy….. not at all! I am but a sinner. Yet this sense of God’s deep love for me was an assurance that He loves me despite all my failings. He loves me. He deeply loves me.

And this gentle nudging from the Lord reminded me of the gift that Couz sent to me some years ago when I started this programme at Asbury. He had sent me a wooden engraved plaque with just my name on it. In an accompanying note, he wrote that he had chosen not to put any prefixes before the name as a reminder that I am who I am without the prefixes. To date, it is the reason I chose not to use any prefixes with my students.

The song ministered to me as it served as a reminder of the depth of God’s love. But more importantly it is a reminder that, as I come to almost an end of this pursuit, I must never let the prefix determine my perception of the person. Jesus did not die on the cross for the prefix, He died and rose again for us all. There is inherent worth as the Lord sees in each of us, more than what the world perceives. When the world is preoccupied with the prefixes, the Lord passionately pursues the persons, with such a depth in His love.

I pray that the words of this song minister to you as it did for me.

How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son, to make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One, bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross, my sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there, until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom

the 'last battle'?

2009-11-08T17:32:00.006+08:00

I guess this marks the coming to a completion of something that the Lord started a decade ago, when I left for my studies at Asbury. I leave tonight for what may be the “last battle”. It has been an arduous journey and as I look back so many things has happened. My studies were briefly interrupted when my family received news of my father’s medical condition. And I have no regrets returning to spend the last few months with him. Getting back to writing after he was called home to the Lord was not that easy. And opening up the chapter at Trinity Theological College with the attendant demands of teaching and preaching, where the tyranny of the urgent supplants the important, served only to add to that inertia.

Yet God is good and through the slow process of writing these past few years, I have submitted my dissertation and will head back to Asbury to meet with my supervisor. It has been a lonely journey, a journey that perhaps only those who would venture out to get their ‘heads permanently damaged’ would understand. It is a journey fraught with difficulties, of mental blocks, of dead ends and meanders. Yet it is also a journey that is lined with Ebenezers along the way; Ebenezers that are a reminder that “thus far the Lord has led me”. And for me, most of these ‘Ebenezers’ will be at the airport tonight…..i can’t thank the Lord enough for each of them.

Thus begins the journey that will end….. soon. Pray for me.

there is a hope

2009-07-20T12:52:00.005+08:00

The church is seeing an increasingly anthropocentric wave of worship songs. Yet in these times, there are some exceptional songs which reflect a sensitivity to the word of the Lord and at the same time speak to our human experience in a way that addresses these existential concerns. This song, written by Stuart Townend and Mark Edwards, is one of those songs that spoke to my heart and i believe will do the same for each of you. It most definitely will be a song that will be sung at my funeral service.

Here are the lyrics:

There is a hope that burns within my heart,
That gives me strength for every passing day;
A glimpse of glory now revealed in meagre part,
Yet drives all doubt away:
I stand in Christ, with sins forgiven;
And Christ in me, the hope of heaven!
My highest calling and my deepest joy,
To make His will my home.

There is a hope that lifts my weary head,
A consolation strong against despair,
That when the world has plunged me in its deepest pit,
I find the Saviour there!
Through present sufferings, future's fear,
He whispers 'courage' in my ear.
For I am safe in everlasting arms,
And they will lead me home.

There is a hope that stands the test of time,
That lifts my eyes beyond the beckoning grave,
To see the matchless beauty of a day divine
When I behold His face!
When sufferings cease and sorrows die,
And every longing satisfied.
Then joy unspeakable will flood my soul,
For I am truly home.

Come with Me

2009-07-20T12:32:00.002+08:00

It's been a hectic semester break and one of the new responsibilities that was thrust on me is the role of the acting Dean of students at Trinity Theological College. On top of that, i have also been invited to be the theme speaker at the college retreat, for which the theme is "Come with Me". The theme echoes Jesus call to His disciples to come and follow after Him and is also a call from the TTC community to the new students to come alongside us as we take this journey of theological education together.

Well, thanks (or no thanks) to the H1N1 influenza, we had to further shorten the retreat, which effectually excised my theme talks. I am not complaining! But here is the forward that i wrote for the retreat.

+++++++

It is with some regret that we have to further shorten the College Retreat for this academic year. The Retreat Committee has put in a lot of work organizing the programme and as you spend this day thinking through the theme of the Retreat, our prayers are that this will mark the beginning of a new chapter in your response to the call of Christ to “Come with Me”.

The Gospel accounts are replete with Jesus’ calls to come with Him, to come follow Him. It is an invitation to journey alongside Him as He headed towards Jerusalem. It is an invitation to partner with Him in ministry, to suffer with Him, to die with Him and to rise again with Him. Matthew 4:18-22 records Jesus’ call to the four fishermen to come and follow him and somewhat instantaneously they respond. So too does Jesus extend that same invitation to each of us today as He calls us to a life of discipleship.

John Bell captures this call of Christ to come with Him in those timeless words “Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?” in the song, The Summons. One line, however seems a little unsettling - “Will you kiss the leper clean, and do such as this unseen”. It is a reminder that Jesus calls us to an incarnational ministry and oftentimes an inconspicuous simplicity of service. His is a call to service that decries any attention to self.

Jesus’ call to come with Him is also a call be enjoined in a communal fellowship that is profoundly and preeminently exemplified by the perichoresis within the Trinity. For three years the disciples followed after Jesus, shared common experience together and were immersed into a fraternity that was to have an impact that reverberated through the Mediterranean world. Similarly, most of you will spend (about) three years here at Trinity living in a community which we hope will also have an impact where God will lead you upon your gradation. Another songwriter, Michael Card reminds us that “the call is to community, the impoverished power that sets the soul free. In humility, to take the vow, that day after day we must take up the basin and the towel.”

Jesus’ call to come with Him is preeminently a call to suffer with Him, a call to abandonment, a call to die and a call to be raised again with Him. It is ultimately a call to sacrifice. In John 21:19, the Gospel writer records for us Jesus’ issuing of the call afresh to Peter to follow Him after He had reminded Peter of the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. It seems that modernity and affluence has made it increasingly more convenient for us in our time to respond to Jesus’ call as if His is a call to occupy position of power, privilege and prestige. As we begin this journey of preparation, I hope that we will bear in mind that Jesus’ call to “Come, follow Me” is a call to each of us to die to ourselves as well as to a call to sacrificial giving and sacerdotal living.

Jesus’ call to come with Him is a call to simplicity
Jesus’ call to come with Him is a call to community
Jesus’ call to come with Him is a call to sacrifice

The Lord has taken the first step (as He always does) in moving towards us and it leaves for us to respond.
Lord, your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In your company I’ll go, where your love and footsteps show.
Thus I’ll move and live and grow in You and You in me.

Will you obey His call to “Come with Me”?

Love Crucified, Arose

2009-04-12T00:02:00.003+08:00

There is no doubt that among the many singer-songwriters that i listened to when i was growing up, those that left a deep impression on me include such as Michael Card, Scott Wesley Brown, Keith Green and David Meece. And of these, perhaps the one singer-songwriter that has brought me to tears countless times is Michael Card. In many ways, my observance of Resurrection Sunday has been enriched by a song so beautifully penned by him - Love Crucified Arose. His careful choice of words is laden with theology and perhaps this song itself should suffice as a sermon for Resurrection Sunday.

It was Martin Luther who, while contemplating on Psalm 22, exclaimed, "God forsaken by God, who can understand that?" Years later, Charles Wesley would penned those immortal words, "Amazing Love, how can it be? That Thou my God shouldst die for me?" And in the same mien, Michael Card would also rank with these 'giants' when he wrote of the suffering and rejection that Jesus would have to endure, "that one forsaken moment when Your Father turned His face away".

i am thankful that death was not final because Jesus is alive today. He has conquered the grave, which has become a place of hope..... As we observe Resurrection Sunday, may this song be a ministry to you as it has been for me all these years.

Long ago He blessed the earth, born older than the years
and in the stall a cross He saw, through the first of many tears
A life of homeless wandering, cast out in sorrow's way
A Shepherd seeking for the lost, His life the price He'd pay

Love crucified arose, the Risen One in splendour
Jehovah's sole Defender, has won the victory
Love crucified arose, and the grave became a place of hope
for the heart that sin and sorrow broke is beating once again

Throughout Your life, You felt the weight of what You come to give
To drink for us that crimson cup, so we might really live
At last the time to love and die, the dark appointed day,
that one forsaken moment when Your Father turned His face away....

Love crucified arose, the One who lived and died for me
was Satan's nailed pierced casualty, now He's breathing once again
Love crucified arose, and the grave became a place of hope
for the heart that sin and sorrow broke is beating once again

Love crucified arose, the Risen One in splendour
Jehovah's sole Defender, has won the victory
Love crucified arose,and the grave became a place of hope
for the heart that sin and sorrow broke is beating once again
.

on imperfections and perfections

2009-04-06T22:58:00.003+08:00

i must say that i was very impressed with the MCYS advertisement. No doubt it is government propaganda in view of declining birth rates, yet i think the advertisement is revolutionary in a few ways. It was a stroke of genius on the part of the producer to employ the context of a funeral to convey the importance of family. We often take those closest to us for granted and sadly it takes the hard reality of the departure of a loved one that makes us realise the importance of family. It also took into account the multicultural context of Singapore by showcasing a cross-cultural marriage.

The eulogy was carefully crafted, incorporating appropriate humour in a very sombre and solemn setting. The final part of her eulogy resonated a great deal with me.
"...Towards the end of his live, when his illness was at his worse, these sounds indicated to me that my David was still alive......and what i wouldn't give just to hear those sounds again before i sleep. In the end, it's these small things that you remember; the little imperfections that make them perfect for you. So to my beautiful children, i hope one day you too find yourselves lifes partners that are beautifully imperfect as your father was to me."

when she mentioned how the sounds her husband made, be it vocal or anal, helped her know that he was still alive, it reminded me of the moments when i had to help my dad with his bowel movements when he was on morphine during the final weeks of his life. He was badly constipated and i had to 'assist' him (i don't think i need to be explicit here). But when he did have some deposits, it was more than a relief for me... i was actually ecstatic! I guess the film clip spoke a great deal to me as it reminded me of my dad and the importance of family. And family to me includes the extended family members in the US as well as my 弟弟s as well as those of you in the RSOBAR.

i guess there's a lot for us to think about... the little imperfections that make them perfect....

.

blessed birthday couz

2009-03-20T00:00:00.006+08:00

Couz is back in Singapore... finally. After two years of missionary service in Nakhon Sawan, Couz is home and will be enrolling in TTC for theological studies. I mentioned that when he told me about what the Lord was impressing on his heart, it was one of the best news i received last year.

Looking back, it was many birthdays ago when our paths crossed. I had just been appointed to the church and couz was still serving in the army. We came to call each other as 'couz' because a few youth leaders thought we could pass off as cousins in a seemingly innocuous prank. And since then, we have referred to each other as 'couz'.

We share many common interests, not least of which is "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, which brought us to Wellington and Hobbiton (in New Zealand) to catch the screening of "The Return of the King". And so it is with the words from Samwise Gamgee, that i hope you'll be encouraged on your birthday as well as when you begin this new chapter of your life at TTC.

"It’s like in the great stories, Mr Frodo, the ones that really matter. Full of darkness and danger there were. Sometimes you didn’t want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing... this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come and when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something; even if you were too small to understand why. I think Mr Frodo… I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t . They kept going because they were holding onto something.….. that there’s some good in this world, Mr Frodo and it’s worth fighting for.”

blessed birthday, couz......

five loaves and two fishes

2009-03-17T19:31:00.004+08:00

A friend pointed out this music video to me and i thought i'd share this with you all. i have to admit that i am not a huge Corrinne May fan, but this song of hers was a ministry to me. i hope it will be for you too.

hillsongs

2009-02-24T00:02:00.004+08:00

It has often been said that when we reach half a century old in age, we are perhaps over the hill. Not that I am already fifty, but I guess I am trudging towards the summit of the hill and it won’t be too long before I start on the journey downhill. But not unlike the worshipers depicted in the Psalms, especially the songs of ascents, we are all trudging on towards God’s holy hill, where we are able to enjoy His presence, we are to constant look towards that journey’s end and sing our songs of praise as we move into His presence. Songs of ascents are the psalms the people of God sang as they trudge up those hills and perhaps this is the reason why we have hillsongs. I am not really into Hillsongs but I found myself drawn at this time to sing my own hillsong.

My hillsong is a hymn of praise for the way the Lord has led me thus far. It must speak of the many Ebenezers in my life, which is an assurance that “thus far the Lord has led me.” For my family, the immediate and the extended, for the many friends along this upward journey, I don’t presume that I can thank each one of you enough. But my life has been generously enriched and deeply blessed because of each of you.

I look forward to the time of ‘celebration’ with my family, especially with my didis and friends, but am acutely aware that it is not so much a celebration of my life but more a celebration of God’s continued faithfulness in my earthly sojourn. Hence I am singing my version of hillsongs….it’s so much less commercialized and so much more personalized.

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twenty five random things about me - a facebook post

2009-02-16T21:34:00.005+08:00

This was posted on facebook and i figure it should put it here too for those who do not have a facebook account. Here goes:

1. I was born three hundred years after the Great Fire of London and three years before humankind walked on the moon.

2. As you can tell, I am into history and teach history and missions at TTC.

3. I am a fourth generation Christian and was told that my great grandfather was a temple medium before he gave his life to Jesus.

4. I am a Methodist; initially by familial extension, then through convenience and finally by conviction.

5. I am a true blue ACSian... All twelve years, if there was an ACS kindergarten, I am sure my parents would have enrolled me there. If there was an ACS University, I am sure I would have gone there.

6. I am who I am because of what Jesus did and continues to do for me, through all these years.

7. I am a better person because of my parents, bros, couz, ah 弟, 弟-th, 弟-an, xd, mentees and my extended families in Las Vegas and Ohio.

8. I love all of them a great deal (see 7)

9. I didn’t cycle until I was in junior college when we went almost weekly to East Coast and my friend had to ride a tandem bike with me for almost two months before I was forced to go solo.

10. I loved to walk in the rain without an umbrella; it’s refreshing though it’s been a long time since I did that.

11. Kids these days have a good life, jet setting across the world. The first time I took a flight on board an aircraft was when I was twenty-six and we flew back from Penang to Singapore.

12. I have not been to any part in Africa, Central and South America and the Antarctica.

13. I collect sand from different beaches around the world.

14. I hope to be able to minister in Japan sometime in the future.

15. I am allergic to chocolate - don’t despair for me... I don’t like chocolates to begin with, though I can bake brownies and whip up a tiramisu dessert.

16. I love good food but have that peculiar habit of not eating cooked (soggy) vegetables. I don’t eat molluscs except for scallops and calamari.

17. I don’t like to drink hot beverages and yes, I will rather have an ice-cream in winter than a cup of hot chocolate (see 15)

18. I have a soft spot for chips, bak kwa, hae bi spring rolls, cashews and macadamia and ice cream… this list is not exhaustive…

19. I can still swim 40 laps (front crawl) of an Olympic-size pool without taking any breaks in between… and no, I am not referring to 40 laps over one week…..

20. Since the beginning of the year, I have gymed at least twice a week… just don’t ask me why I am still the chunk that I am…must be because of 18.

21. I have a Singapore driving licence but have never driven on Singapore roads.

22. If not for God’s call, one of the vocations I had seriously considered was working in the zoo. In a sense what I am doing now is somewhat similar - tending sheep and teaching them to discern the dangers of wolves as we all submit to the Lion of Judah!

23. The best thing that happened to me in 2008 was when 弟-th managed to find me through a google on-line search. It took more than a decade for us to be reunited and I can’t thank the Lord enough for this 弟.

24. The best news I have heard so far in 2009 is that couz will be applying for studies at TTC in preparation for full-time service.

25. Guess I may be regarded as one cool dude... literally. I prefer the cold than the heat!

骑高高

2009-01-29T09:10:00.008+08:00

Red Cliff is one of the best movies I have seen since the Lord of the Rings trilogy and understandably so as the themes of love, fellowship and camaraderie are equally strong in this two-part John Woo’s production. I presume that there are a few who beg to differ, citing historicity as one of the main drawbacks. The movie portrayal seems glaringly different from the immensely popular Romance of the Three Kingdoms [三国演义]. On the contrary, it seems that Red Cliff is based on the more historically accurate, though less celebrated, Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms [三国志]. While it is true also that John Woo had created a few fictional characters in order to add drama and intrigue to the plot, the fictional character of 孫叔財 was the one which moved me a great deal.

I watched the movie a second time with ah di and found myself deeply encouraged and immensely challenged by the fictional character of 孫叔財, the unbelievably guiltless soldier turned captain, who was incontrovertibly protective and supportive of his friend, 孫尚香. While he bordered on being gullible, what resonated with me was the unyielding, unquestioning and undying ‘I will stand by you and with you’ attitude which he so well depicted. Despite the fact that his friendship was exploited so that 孫尚香 could carry out her espionage activities, 孫叔財 was very willing to shoulder his friend in an activity 骑高高 which was to forever knit their lives in an indissoluble knot.

The cherubic expression on 孫叔財’s face which lighted up each time he met his friend, the unquestioning support, the unyielding loyalty stand in stark contradiction to the reciprocity we expect in our friendship and it is for me, a rebuke of the deficiency that is evident in our friendships and relationships. And honestly, I was very saddened when 孫叔財 died in the battlefield, though consoled that he was able to see his bosom friend for the very last time.

Through a seemingly insignificant character, I was challenged in regard to the essential elements of deep meaningful friendship. And much as I desire to ride high on the shoulders of such friends, I want rather to be like 孫叔財, who will go out of his way to put his friends on his shoulders, to let them 骑高高 and to give them a lift through the vicissitudes of life.

blessed birthday di-th

2009-01-12T00:01:00.003+08:00

i have waited for more than 12 years for this day and one can hardly imagine the excitement i had in planning the details of di-th’s birthday. i had intended to make another trip to JB to surprise di(th) on his birthday but since i had to be in college, it made the trip almost impossible and coupled with the fact that tried as i did, i was not able to ‘summon’ any vehicular transportation to make the trip. Public transport was the other alternative but with the messy mayhem at the immigration checkpoints for those who take the public transport, it did not seem a plausible option too. Hence we celebrated di(th)’s birthday a day later when he drove in to Singapore.

in my preparations, i managed to find the few photos we took at the CF meetings, all of which brought back very cherished memories of the short but yet immensely gratifying ministry time at acs(i). The fact that di(th) is now walking with Jesus is the best gift, the best assurance that God has been faithful and has not let either of us go, through the years.

i look forward to future celebrations with you di and on your birthday, all my wishes for you are all embodied in the words of Asaph’s Psalm in Psalm 73:25 & 26, whose only desire is the Lord Himself:

“Whom have I in heaven but You?

And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

May God be the strength of your heart and your portion forever, di. Have a blessed birthday and wishing you God’s protection, providence and presence today and all your life.

PS: love you, di(th)!

hearts, hopes and aims

2008-12-31T01:21:00.006+08:00

At the threshold of the New Year, I think of 2008 and thank the Lord for these and so much more:

TEN i walked with mum on the Southern Ridges trail from Alexandra to Mount Faber one Saturday afternoon.

NINE di graduated from Bioengineering at NUS in May and was accepted into the PhD programme in July

EIGHT i spoke at a church camp in June.

SEVEN i travelled with di to Thailand in July and together we visited Nakhon Sawan, the place that couz has been ministering these past two years.

SIX i met up with di(th) on 8th Oct after almost a decade. i cannot thank the Lord enough for bringing us together again and for keeping the bond between us strong through the years.

FIVE xd graduated from seminary in Sydney and was blessed with a second baby girl Maia.

FOUR i have taught 5 semesters at TTC by the end of Nov.

THREE i have preached a total of 22 sermons throughout this year.

TWO i travelled alone by bus to Johor Bahru to visit di(th) and his family on 4th Dec.

ONE and just when i thought that the year was done, my family was enlarged with the inclusion of di(an) on 8th Dec.

As I add up these blessings that God has so lavishly bestowed upon me, i am deeply humbled and immensely gratified. Being the church history lecturer at TTC, it would be my undoing if I fail to comprehend the importance of looking at the footprints that the Lord leaves behind in the yesteryears of my life. Soren Kierkegaard is precise in his comment that “. . .life must be understood backwards. But . . . it must be lived forwards.”

On my own, I look ahead to 2009 with uncertainty but with the One who has brought history to pass and is the Lord of the future, i step into the new year with surety. It is on this abundant faithfulness of the Lord that propels me. I can depend on no other source of strength except on Him and upon Him and Him alone, its where our hearts, our hopes, our aims become one.

merry christmas...with love!

2008-12-24T19:34:00.004+08:00

We often greet each other at Christmas with “Merry Christmas”. I think that in a way, Christmas is merry for us because on that first Christmas, God gave to the world the greatest gift we could ever receive. We have reasons for rejoicing because of what God has given to us. But was that first Christmas a ‘merry’ one from the Father’s perspective? This is the God who would not withhold His best for us, so that we will always be with Him for all eternity.

There is a song that was sung by a Sandi Patty which has helped me better appreciate a different view of Christmas. While most of the world celebrates and parties away this day, there are many others who go through Christmas with silent pain. It is a commonly known that the holiday season is when suicide rates increase, when the loss of kith and kin hits home the hardest. Merry Christmas?

Christmas can only be merry when we begin to understand and appreciate the cost that God Himself would pay. That merriment is not in a casual and debauched manner but one that stems from the heart, in full gratitude and appreciation of the high cost that God would subject Himself that first Christmas, in the sending away of His own Son in order that Christmas becomes a homecoming celebration for all of us.

As we celebrate Christmas, there are many others around us whose Christmas may not be that merry. My prayer is that the words of the song will minister to you this Christmas. But more than just a tug at your heart, I pray that it will be an encouragement to remember those who truly need the gift that God gave to us that first Christmas, Immanuel. He has come to be with us in our deepest moments so that we can be with Him in our highest joys. So may we be a demonstration of His love as we stand with those in their pain, in showing that God is indeed with us!

She leaned with her head on the window, watching evergreen bend in the snow

Remembering Christmas the way it had been, so many seasons ago.
When the children would reach for their stockings and open the presents they found
The lights on the tree would shine bright in their eyes, reflecting the love all around.
This year there's no one to open the gifts, no reason for trimming the tree
And just as a tear made it's way to the floor, she heard voices outside start to sing.

Merry Christmas to all who may dwell here
Merry Christmas if even just one
May the joy of the season surround you
Merry Christmas with love.

Carolers sang as she opened the door, faces of friends in the crowd
And all of the shadows of lonely reminders, driven away by the sound.
Now the heart that for years had been silent, was suddenly filled with a song
As she clung to their hands like a child in the night, she found her self singing along.

Merry Christmas to all who may dwell here
Merry Christmas if even just one
May the joy of the season surround you
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to all who may dwell here
Merry Christmas if even just one
May the joy of the season surround you
Merry Christmas with love

To all of you who read this blog, Merry Christmas with love!

突然好想你...

2008-12-14T23:34:00.010+08:00

It is not difficult to realize that I have been listening to the songs of 五月天, a popular Chinese band. Their first song, 突然好想你, in their latest album has heightened the nostalgia for me as I consider the year that is soon to be relegated to a part of our lives we call history. In counting my blessings and remembering the important people in my life, I am thankful for the way the Lord has graciously allowed our paths to cross. There were some whose paths have now diverged. Yet they still remain a part of my memories.

I am grateful to the Lord for those friends who have stood alongside me all through the years and even more so, for those friends who have become more than just friends but are now family to me. In many ways, they exemplify what Henri Nouwen wrote regarding friendship:

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Little wonder they keep appearing each time I count my blessings…

the advent conspiracy

2008-12-01T16:17:00.004+08:00

Once again we are in the season of Advent and it will be Christmas soon. The media is telling us to spend more in order to help the economy but is Christmas all about spending money to buy oftentimes 'useless' gifts? So before you begin to make a list, check out this video and make this Christmas a MEANINGFUL one for your family and your loved ones.

find us faithful...

2008-11-13T22:25:00.003+08:00

My aunt passed away this week and it one sense i am glad that she is no longer plagued by the pains that have persisted her this past year, be it physical or psychological. But as the extended family gathered to grieve and to give thanks to the Lord for her life, perhaps what was most regretful was to see the gradual spiritual deterioration of the family members.

My maternal family had been one of the pioneers and faithful members of Bukit Panjang Methodist Church. But the operative word in that sentence is “had been”. Through the years the number of the family worshiping and serving at BPMC has dwindled and as of today, the number stands at three - my mum and my two cousins. It would have been four if not for the fact that i am under the itinerant system of the Chinese Annual Conference.

Through the years, with the demise of my grandmother and subsequently my uncle and aunts, the extended family has regrettably become increasingly secular. Some of my cousins are worshipping at different churches and so is my brother; and for that, I am thankful. But many other cousins and their children have become estranged and have seemingly abandoned the faith of their grandparents and parents. Christianity has been reduced perhaps to a funeral ritual that the family gathers and performs with each passing away of the elders in the family.

At my aunt's wake and funeral service, my mum was rather contained except when at the moment when my aunt’s casket was positioned for cremation. It was then she broke down and bade a tearful farewell to my aunt. In the past years, she had continually been chatting with my aunt on the telephone and always encouraging her to come to church service, especially during those months when she was staying over at her son’s place at Tampines. At that moment, she was inconsolable. As I thought about it, i can understand her grief. Departures are also not that which i will ever be comfortable with. But perhaps the spiritual apathy of those who are are left behind is cause for even much more profound grief.

i am humbled and i am thankful for my mum each time i ponder the question: What is the legacy that we will leave behind? i guess this is where Jon Mohr’s words are so poignant and so provocative.

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift though all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

nahum one seven

2008-11-02T10:52:00.009+08:00

“The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble,

And He knows those who take refuge in Him”
Nahum 1:7

Conversing with di, i was asked why i named my blog nahumoneseven. It is an interesting question which i guess i should provide a response by way of this blog post. The verse Nahum 1:7 was a verse that i had committed to memory in my Secondary Four days. That was the time when with renewed fervor, a group of us from the class met every morning to pray and commit our youthful energies to the service of the Lord. Meeting outside the Nagel Library in the middle block of the old ACS at Barker Road, we gathered to pray every school day and when we moved on to the Junior College, it was a practice that we took along with us. Among the various bible verses we committed to memory, this was a verse that resonated with me all these years. It is verse which affirms the goodness of the Lord despite the foulness of the circumstances.

A cursory reading of Nahum smacks of a ruthless judgment against Assyria. Was there none who could have been spared from the vengeful vindication? So dire was the punishment imputed on Assyria that perhaps accounts for the fact that the Church has never included passages from Nahum in the lectionary readings. How does the vengeful tenor of Nahum resonate with the gracious dealings of a loving God?

Therein lies the delicate balance that the message of Nahum holds for us today where in many ways God’s grace seems to have taken priority over God’s wrath. God is love and God is also holy. His holiness and His loving kindness cannot and must not be held in exclusion of each other.

A careful reading further suggests that we live in a context that is not very different from that of the prophet, Nahum. Evil continues to exert its influence but there will be a time of reckoning when evil will be judged. The hymn in Nahum chapter one highlights the theme of a divine God who has come to judge His enemies and to save His people. There is darkness in this world but there is a God who come to bring light into the darkness. For a time, darkness and evil seem to prevail but the promise in Nahum 1:7 resonates with Maltbie Babcock’s words of the hymn,

“This is my Father's world, O let me ne’er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the Ruler yet.”

Despite the injustices, the evil and the destruction that abounds, God is still in control. He will come again to restore the order in creation. He has come in Jesus Christ and like the people in the times of Nahum, we too eagerly anticipate His glorious return to right all the wrongs. Despite the heaviness of the tone of the passage, Nahum 1:7 presents the sure promise that the Lord IS good and He knows those who take refuge in Him. It is a promise i have held on to since i was a teenager and it will continue to be one which i will affirm, that indeed THE LORD IS GOOD.

de profundis

2008-10-28T23:49:00.002+08:00

it's been a tough week and i guess this echoes my inward cry

De profundis clamavi ad te Domine
Domine exaudi vocem meam fiant aures tuae intendentes in vocem deprecationis meae
Si iniquitates observabis Domine Domine quis sustinebit
Quia apud te propitiatio est propter legem tuam sustinui te
Domine sustinuit anima mea in verbum eius
Speravit anima mea in Domino
A custodia matutina usque ad noctem speret Israel in Domino
Quia apud Dominum misericordia et copiosa apud eum redemptio
Et ipse redimet Israel ex omnibus iniquitatibus eius

tanjewberrymuds

2008-10-15T14:50:00.003+08:00

i got this from a friend. i know that it's a little 'imperialist' as it pokes fun at us Asians and the our Engrish... i mean English! My posting this is not meant to make anyone feel bad about our grasp of English. But it's all in good fun and i guess, sometimes it's good to be able to laugh at ourselves....and the mistakes we make, albeit unintentionally.

TANJEWBERRYMUDS.........To get the full effect, this should be read aloud.

You will understand what 'tanjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. - Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: " Rye ..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?"
G: "Uh..yes.I'd like some bacon and eggs.."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What?"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them?Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad!?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin w bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G : "You're very welcome."

it's been a decade...

2008-10-10T02:16:00.006+08:00

It’s been ten years since i met with TH and when we arranged to meet for dinner on Thursday evening, it was a dinner that i looked forward to very enthusiastically. In one evening, i felt the elation of the shepherd who found his one lost sheep. i can comprehend the ecstasy of the woman who found her lost silver coin. And that evening, my inner being resonated with the exhilaration of the father who was reunited with his lost son. It was for me Luke 15 come alive. i waited for TH at the carpark at TTC and when he arrived and parked his car, i had a epiphanic moment of what it meant for the father to abandon all his decorum as he ran towards his son in a warm embrace. i hugged this brother of mine and for that moment, i really was not bothered if curious bystanders would have mistook me for being a ‘happy’ person. i am more than happy, i am elated, i am ecstatic and i am exhilarated with an overwhelming joy.

It had been a long arduous week but having a dinner with TH that evening refreshed me for the journey ahead. We reminisced of the time when we were at ACS. TH belonged to that ACS rugger team that won the triple gold (in the ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’ school divisions) after a very long drought and that year, he had given me that medal he won. It is a medal that i have cherished all these years and has been a ‘Mizpah’ for me. It is ‘Mizpah’ in that it represented my prayer that, "May the LORD keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other”. But this evening, we can regard it as our Ebenezer, a reminder that “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”

i don’t think we’ll need to wait another decade for dinner together. But i am humbled for the lesson learnt this week, for in one dinner together, i have experienced the full myriad of Luke 15. i marvel too at God’s extravagant love in His protection of and His presence with TH all these years. And i am glad that i have been privileged to be a part of His divine opus in TH's life.

i think you can understand when i say that i am looking forward to the next dinner with you, di…

how to keep mum about Mum?

2008-10-08T18:20:00.004+08:00

i have written about my mum as we celebrated her previous birthdays. But this year was a little different. Hard pressed for time (yes, i am still writing), i had not really given my mum’s birthday much thought. Not that i have forgotten about it but there was just too many things occupying my limited capacity brain space. i was debating as to whether i should bring her out for dinner since we had a birthday lunch for her last Saturday. Time was a limiting factor…..

But in any case, i made arrangements with ah di to bring my mum out for dinner. It was a simple dinner but deep down within, i know perhaps one of the best gifts i can give my mum was to complete this long overdue dissertation. But even with my ‘permanent head damage’, i know that it’s not the prefixes to my name that matters. She still loves me in spite of…… that’s the magnitude of a parent’s love for their children. And that itself is reflective of the Lord’s love for each of us.

With each passing year, watching my mum as she ages, the brevity of life becomes increasingly evident. Regardless of how busy i am, i hope that i will not let the urgent overtake the important; at the end of it all, people must still have precedence over projects and programmes. And i cannot allow my time with my closest ones in my family (mum, di, couz) to be hijacked by the tyranny of the urgent. i remember some weeks ago, i brought my mum on a long walk on the southern bridges. We walked from Alexandra all the way to Mount Faber and made small conversations along the 'hike’ and it was reminiscent of those times she piggy backed me when i was just a little kid, a long time ago. These are memories that will forever be etched on my heart.

As we celebrated my mum’s birthday, i guess perhaps i do have one regret; that that is I am not able to preach in Mandarin at my 'home' church'. It would be great that i may one day be invited to preach at the church i grew up in, the church where my mum grew up in and share with them a Sunday message on Mother’s Day. i even have a draft outline of that sermon and will take that as an opportunity to thank the Lord for a mum such as her. She has personified for me the love of God to us all. And if Jay Chou can sing it, perhaps we do well to heed his advice. Mum, thanking the Lord for you and i love you!

when God ran. . .

2008-09-27T14:09:00.004+08:00

Where in the Bible has it ever been recorded that God ran?

While there have been many anthropomorphic illustrations applied to God, the one that speaks more powerfully to me is Luke’s parable of the Prodigal, where the father who had been anticipating the son’s return, ran towards him as he saw him a long distance away. This image has been etched in my mind and since hearing from TH last Monday, I can begin to understand the sheer joy of the prodigal father when he welcomed his son home. No, it’s not a typographical error. As the son was prodigal (recklessly wasteful), the father was equally if not more prodigal (lavishly abundant). Do a careful read of Luke 15 which is recorded as the parable of the lost son; but I think it also may be understood as the parable of the prodigal (father and son)!

Perhaps for me, the good news is best retold in this song, first sung by Benny Hester. As it spoke to me, may it be for you too. This is especially for you, di!

euangelion - good news of great joy

2008-09-23T02:02:00.010+08:00

i used to be a ministry staff worker at ACS(I) and my time at the school was no more than 18 months in total before i was recalled to serve in church. There are many students i wish i had known better but am thankful for the few whom i have come to know and love as more than just friends. One of them is this rugby boy (why is it always the rugby boys? haha... just kidding) that i have lost contact with this past decade and from whom i received this email last night which made my short sojourn in ACS(I) so much more memorable. With TH's permission, the following is an edited part of his email:

"...i don't know if you still remember me, but i'll give you a refresher course for free anyway. I still think about the brownies you used to bake, but not so much about you though. just kidding. Anyway, i was a student at ACS(I) from 1995 to 1998 and in my 2nd year i got to know of a wonderful person that i never ever thought would make such as impression on my life, that person is you. I have never stopped thanking God for putting you in my life, you helped me start a relationship with God, you introduced me to God and it was thru you, the first among equals that i felt God's grace and mercy.

sadly though, I am still ashamed up till today about the way we parted ways and the day you temporarily (i can only assume) lost hope in me. To be really fair you were a real lovable softie on me, and i was really satan's little agent then, but still, if you factor in free will, then i can't really push all the blame on Lucifer. But, seriously i want to thank you for introducing the Lord into my life and now that i've re-accepted God into my life, you are the first person i wish to thank God for.

Thank you for being so patient and so kind with me then, i was very young and i never understood what all of it meant up till today. i still harbor hopes of eating your brownies again, with a can of coke maybe. Really hope we can get together some time and catch up... let u down lots n lots and miss u lots n lots too."

Can't blame me if the email made me cry, can you? Hey TH, thanks for making me cry again! i talk about evangelism in my class at ttc, and how evangelism is an overflow... and for me in the wee hours of the morning, i experienced an overflow of joy, the joy of renewed relationships. If such a decision on TH part's to follow after Christ can induce such an overflow of joy in me, i can't imagine what it does for our Heavenly Father. No wonder it's called Good News! All praise to you, Abba Father!

________

'quotable' quote?

2008-09-15T21:06:00.003+08:00

i was preparing a sermon from the book on Ecclesiastes and managed to come up with the following sentence after struggling for a bit.... a little 'chim' i guess.... but am rather happy with it. Well.... here it is:

The reality and inescapability of death inevitably forces us to look at life with sobriety and profundity.

________

happy birthday di

2008-09-08T00:04:00.008+08:00

It's di's birthday today and just want to wish him a blessed birthday. Hey di, thankful to the Lord for a di like you and just want to wish you all the best as you celebrate your birthday... i know it's not much of a 'celebration', especially with a test on the day after....but will look forward to dinner with you. It's new year with new challenges ahead and as you continue with a new chapter of studies at NUS, will always be here for you.

Michael Card's song, The Sunrise of Your Smile, very much sums up my birthday wish for you:

"For I would wander weary miles,
Would welcome ridicule, my child (di)
To simply see the sunrise of your smile
To see the light behind your eyes
The happy thought that makes you fly
Yes, I would wander weary miles
To simply see the sunrise... of your smile."

Happy Birthday di!

he is no fool

2008-09-06T09:47:00.011+08:00

I have been reading the movie review assignments that have been submitted to me and one of the movies that the class had to review is “The End of the Spear”. It is the story of how five young men were brutally massacred as they sought to share the Gospel with a tribal people called the Waodanis in the Ecuadorian jungles. It is a story that has tugged at my heartstrings and as I read some of my students’ reflections in these papers, I have been very encouraged.

I have also been preparing a sermon that I was to share at a church service this Sunday. My message was to start off the mission-emphasis month for the church. And I decided on Saturday morning to include the story of Jim Elliot and his four friends, Ed McCully, Nate Saint, Roger Youderin and Peter Fleming as a conclusion to the sermon.

I had to run an errand for ah di in the afternoon. And as I travelled on the train, I was listening to a song that ministered to me a great deal in my youth days (it’s not that long ago, okay?) It is a song that singer-songwriter, Scott Wesley Brown wrote after he had read Elisabeth Elliot’s Shadow of the Almighty. I literally had a hair-raising experience as the words of the song gripped me once again. Tears just welled up in my eyes as the words of SWB’s song struck me afresh. I am sure that this experience is not peculiar to me alone. It is that kind of feeling when one is overwhelmed by an encounter with the Truth, or when one stands in the very presence of the Almighty. I felt as Isaiah felt when he said “Woe is me” as he stood in the utter holiness of the Almighty. And indeed woe is me, as my eyes were welling up. I can only attempt to keep my composure by taking off my spectacles and sort of rub my eyes as if there was an irritation in my eyes. This was an experience that reminded me afresh of the fact that my preaching and teaching has first got to take a hold of me as much as I hope for it to take a grip of others. The Word of the Lord has to minister to me so that I may be a ministry to others. And so, on this one Saturday afternoon, I have been humbled in the carriage of the MRT.

SWB’s song spoke a great deal to me….. I tried to goggle it to see if someone has put up the song on youtube but alas, there is none. And so here I provide you with the words of this powerful song that lend voice to the words of a life lived so powerfully, for the sake of the call. These are the words of Jim Elliot when he wrote in his diary, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

HE IS NO FOOL (by Scott Wesley Brown)
I've lost track of all the Sundays, the offering plates gone by

And as I gave my hard earned dollars, I felt free to keep my life
I talk about commitment and the need to count the cost
But the words of a martyr show me, I don't really know His cross
For he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep
to gain what he cannot lose
Yes, he is no fool, who lays his own life down
I must make this the path I choose

Obedience and servanthood are traits I've rarely shown
And the fellowship of His sufferings is a joy I've barely known
There are riches in surrendering that can't be gained for free
God will share all heaven's wonders but the price He asks is me.
For he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep
to gain what he cannot lose
Yes, he is no fool, who lays his own life down
I must make this the path I choose

PS. Let me know if you’d like to listen to this song… I have the CD….. I’d be happy to share it with you and make you cry too.

_______

parodying the peddlars of prosperity gospel

2008-08-31T23:14:00.008+08:00

I saw this on Ben Witherington's blog and thought that i should share this on this blog too. We may laugh that this can only be true in the USA but i fear that churches in Singapore are equally susceptible to these excesses....

one night in Beijing

2008-08-09T20:36:00.004+08:00

Singapore celebrated 43 years of independence today; a day after China welcomed the world to the 29th Olympic Games in Beijing. I watched the opening ceremony and must admit that the pomp and pageantry of the Olympics did cause a stir in me; it was a proud moment for not only China but for Chinese all over the world.

Thought it was a holiday today, i found myself having to go into office to get my sermon (for tomorrow) printed. i spent some time praying for the Olympics as well as for Singapore and then returned home to find myself home alone, watching the NDP. It’s almost becoming a ritual, watching the NDP at home since it’s almost impossible to get any tickets to watch the parade live. If not the parade, it would have been great to catch the fireworks with family and friends…. the magic of seeing a night sky lit up with a myriad of dazzling sparkling lights is always breathtaking and exhilarating, albeit very fleeting! But oftentimes the nature of work and/or ministry makes it a trifle difficult. And increasingly, i find myself settling in front of the television, like this evening. Hmm…. i do cherish those times when i was able to catch the 4th of July fireworks back in the US with family and friends there.

Not in any way disparaging to the organizers of this year’s NDP, what was lined up seem to pale in comparison to what had preceded the evening before in Beijing. I am mindful that the ‘party’ in our Marina Bay cost a tiny fraction of the $40 billion ‘party’ in Beijing. While we here in Singapore asked for all to “Shine for Singapore”, Beijing sang a song that reflected a larger dream, a future where there is but “One World, One Dream”. That perhaps resonated more with me, as the party in Beijing is proleptic of that great gathering of a greater and grander order as recorded in Revelation 15:4, where all nations will gather to worship the One who is worthy. That was John’s “One World, One Dream”.

But for now, all the fireworks will continue to be fleeting. But the magic of each fireworks party serves to point us forward to that future where we will bask in the presence of the true Light, for which there will be no end . Then I will not need to watch the fireworks alone or through a television screen! And to that end, I continue to plod on for the sake of those whom I look forward to enjoy that eternal fireworks with.

The Response

2008-07-27T23:01:00.002+08:00

My article on reverse mission did not get published but it was sent to those who oversee mission in the CAC. A response was sent, actually two were written but they were never sent to me. I did, however got to read their replies and perhaps it was good that the replies were not sent to me. I cannot believe nor will i attempt to understand the myopic stance of those replies. Perhaps its a normal reaction when one's dearly held convictions are threatened, to bark back and to make sure that bark is loud enough to obscure all contradictory voices, especially against those who challenge the status quo.

I am a little disappointed with the response but i understand that this is not my 'fight'. I have raised the necessary issues and do not intent to pursue this. After all, prophets are seldom, perhaps never welcome in their own hometowns. It has been so and it will continue to remain so.

This whole fiasco is a reminder that when we are in positions of influence we must not neglect the place of humility. It's a lesson that i myself am still learning. So be patient with me, God's still working on me......

Rethinking 'Reverse' Mission....

2008-06-27T11:15:00.004+08:00

This article i wrote was NOT published in CACNews..... but i thought it needs to be read. So here it is:

+++++++++

At the beginning of the nineteenth century, the locus of Protestant Christianity was predominantly in the western hemisphere. While Roman Catholicism had been introduced to Latin America a few centuries earlier, most of Asia and Africa (with the exception of western Asian and northern Africa) remained relatively untouched except for a few brief encounters with Christianity.

When the English minister, William Carey wrote his 87-page tract in 1791, A Enquiry into the Obligation of Christians to Use Means for the Conversion of the Heathens, he perhaps did not realize the full impact of what that tract would mean for Christian mission. And on 31st May 1792 in Northhampton, England, William Carey preached one of the most influential sermons in history, which together with his tract literally launched the modern Protestant missionary movement. The text of his sermon was Isaiah 54:2-3 and his challenge, "Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God" inspired the formation of the Baptist Missionary Society (or more accurately, the Particular (Calvinist) Baptist Society for Propagating the Gospel among the Heathens), which fanned the flames of missionary fervor in the nineteenth century. Carey is hence catalytic to the growth of Protestant missions, which church historian Kenneth Scott Latourette referred to as the Great Century, where "never before in a period of equal length had Christianity or any other religion penetrated for the first time as large an area as it had in the nineteenth century."

This burst of missionary zeal also fueled the perception that Christianity is a religion of the 'West' or to employ another metaphor, from the 'global North'; for which Africa, Asia and Latin America are hence collectively referred to as the 'South'. As Christianity took root in the South and grew, the past century has witnessed a shifting of the centre of gravity towards the global South (as noted by such scholars and authors as Andrew Walls, Walbert Buhlmann and Philip Jenkins.) The voices from churches in Asia, Africa and Latin America are getting louder and can no longer be easily ignored or dismissed. A case in point is the impact and influence of the African-American, Hispanic and Korean-American Methodists votes in the Conference proceedings of the United Methodist Church in our time. Prominent missiologist and historian Andrew Walls in his book, The Missionary Movement in Christian History, pointed out that, "the original organs of the missionary movement were designed for one-way traffic; for sending, for giving. Perhaps there is now an obligation of Christians to 'use means' better fitted for two-way traffic, fellowship, for sharing, for receiving, than yet have been perfected."

If mission in the nineteenth century tendered to be unidirectional, mission in the twentieth century is perhaps better perceived as bidirectional or multidirectional. There is a reversal in the direction of mission. Hence, reverse mission refers to the sending of missionaries from countries of the non-western world, particularly Africa, Asia and Latin America (the global 'South'), to those former mission-sending countries, typically those of Europe and North America (the global 'North'). In particular, when a church in Singapore sends a missionary to evangelize the increasingly secular population in the US and to re-invigorate the church in England, UK, that is regarded as reverse mission. It is mission that emphasizes the reciprocity that exists in light of the mission histories of the both the sending and recipient countries. There is a reversal of roles, so to speak, where the recipient has now become the sender and vice versa.

In the past years, it is heartening to observe the increased awareness of mission among the CAC churches. A number of CAC churches are involved in mission in various South East Asian countries as well as further afield. There have also been ministries among the migrant workers who flock to Singapore in search of a 'better' life. It is with the hope that these workers, when they encounter Jesus, will be discipled and in turn be the harbinger of Good News upon their return to their homelands. Curiously, we have referred to this work as 'reverse mission'. But in light of the brief survey, the term seems somewhat erroneous. Is not "migrant ministry" a better way to describe the work among these people? Is not discipleship a more accurate term, if the purpose of discipling is the explicit intention of entrusting the Gospel to faithful persons who will be able to teach others also (2 Timothy 2:2). When the different ethnic peoples at Pentecost returned to their respective homelands to share the Good News of the Gospel which they received through the ministry of the disciples, do we think of that as reverse missions? Or is discipleship (which includes evangelism) a better term to describe the ministry we are involved in?

Some may dismiss this as a case of missiological semantics, a juggling with words. But being a student in the area of mission history, I think perhaps we do well to appropriate the research that has been made available to us and keep closer to the original understanding of 'reverse mission'. The term itself perhaps sits uneasily with most missiologists as the reversal of missions is a rather curious (or suspect) concept, when what it seeks to describe is the reversal of the direction of mission. Until CAC begins to send our missionaries to the UK or the USA, which is a likely possibility in the not too distant future, we perhaps have to rethink what we mean in our 'reverse mission' emphases.

iwant..... or perhaps it's more ilust....

2008-06-13T00:27:00.006+08:00

This is a struggle that has gone on since the beginning of humanity.
Adam and Eve lusted at it and wanted to have it.......
It caused the fall of humanity in the garden of Eden.......

and sigh, i am falling into the same temptation..... the apple's latest 3G iphone!
"yield not to temptation for yielding is sin......"
ialsowant..... ilust... but i guess it's more like, idream!

we've got the power?

2008-05-24T16:59:00.006+08:00

I have been somewhat disappointed with the turnout at the Aldersgate Convention held over the past few evenings at Wesley Methodist Church. We had perhaps one of the most prolific New Testament scholars and Methodist pastor as the speaker, in the person of Dr Ben Witherington III but the attendance was dismal. Perhaps if we had invited a certain popular ‘worship’ recording artiste from Downunder, we might have had problems with crowd control.

That very thought makes me shudder; for it demonstrates that the timely kernel of truth in Paul’s admonishment to Timothy in II Timothy 4:2-5, must all the more be heeded in our time and age:

You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food - catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you - keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant. (The Message)

A student of mine at Trinity Theological College sent me a picture taken at the college, which is in a sense prophetic. I thought I’d take a similar picture and pose the question for us to ponder afresh, “Do we still have the power?”

As we commemorate Aldersgate today, it brings to mind the poignant words John Wesley penned in his “Thoughts Upon Methodism”:

I am not afraid that the people called Methodists should ever cease to exist either in Europe or America. But I am afraid lest they should only exist as a dead sect, having the form of religion without the power. And this undoubtedly will be the case unless they hold fast both the doctrine, spirit, and discipline with which they first set out.

Do we still have the power?

The Ultimate Sacrifice

2008-03-22T13:07:00.001+08:00

I have heard this story a couple of times and recently saw this on youtube. It is a story that is analogous to the reason why we observe Good Friday. Words are inadequate in trying to uncover what it means for God to give us His Son to suffer and to die, so that we might live.... perhaps best articulated by Michael Card when he wrote, "that one forsaken moment when the Father turned His face away..."

As we think about the events that lead up to Easter Sunday, my prayers are that we will at least have a sense of the high price that was paid at Calvary's cross. "Amazing love, how can it be that Thou my God shouldst die for me?"

Blessed Easter.

blessed birthday couz

2008-03-20T14:59:00.008+08:00

It is Couz's birthday again and though he was back for two weeks, he has returned to Thailand and will be spending his birthday there. This is probably his first birthday away from home. Guess he will miss home; but i am glad that we were able to have a good meal with him when he was back in Singapore.

Couz is more than just a friend to me; he's more like a brother. And i am thankful for the friendship and love that we share; one that is solidly grounded in our love for Jesus and for each other. Ours is a friendship that is most eloquently described by Henri Nouwen when he penned the following words:

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

Couz, thanks for being such a friend and a brother and here's wishing you a blessed birthday. Despite the distance, the Lord's still keeping a watch over us. Looking forward to seeing you soon.

what is love?

2008-02-21T23:35:00.002+08:00

No, i am not talking about eros but the kind of love that that is shared between family and friends. It’s the last day of the Chinese New Year and another opportunity to celebrate over a reunion dinner. It has been a different reunion dinner this year on the eve, no thanks to some sticky issues. While i was thankful to celebrate the New Year with those nearest and dearest to me, i guess it was not so for my mum since my elder brother could not make it for the dinner.

i can never estimate the impact that she has on me and perhaps in many ways, the manner with which i love my family and my friends is reflective of that positive influence. Paul in his monumental magnum opus on love [I Corinthians 13] curiously noted that love does not take into account a wrong suffered. It is curious in the sense that it makes the person who loves seemingly foolish, as one who bothers almost on being a sadomasochist. How is it possible to keep on loving when the one who is loved seems oblivious to what has been lavished? How is it possible to keep on loving when loving teeters on emotional suicide since reciprocity is but an act of futile anticipation and where reciprocity in the first place, is not even the purpose of nor the reason for the one who loves. And how can the one who loves not take into account a wrong suffered? Perhaps once, twice and thrice, or seventy times seven times a person may be forgiven but the habitual act of disregard for the sensitivities of the one who loves points precisely to the fact that the one loved has scant regard for the one who loves. In this regard, to continue to love seems almost act of foolishness. But that is what most parents persist in doing, even when the child does not seem to take notice or perhaps is indifferent or ignorant of the expansive love bestowed. It is a love that continues to love in spite of, it is a love that is not blind to the failings of the one loved but one that keeps on bearing, keeps on believing, keeps on hoping and keeps on enduring.

Such a love is most eminently and eloquently demonstrated in the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It was to a loveless world that He came and among a loveless people who spurned His love, He persisted in His love. And He was to bear the ultimate rejection as He hung on the cross, but yet in His suffering, in His painful affliction, He uttered “Father, forgive…” Love does not take into account a wrong suffered. While it seemed foolish to persist in loving, that is what Jesus precisely did. Michael Card in reflecting on Jesus' life and ministry penned these words:

It seems I've imagined Him all of my life

The wisest of all of mankind
But if God's holy wisdom is foolish to man
He must have seemed out of His mind
For even His family said He was mad
And the priests said a demon's to blame
But God in the form of this angry young man
Could not have seemed perfectly sane
When we in our foolishness thought we were wise
He played the fool and He opened our eyes
When we in our weakness believed we were strong
He became helpless to show we were wrong
And so we follow God's own fool
For only the foolish can tell
Believe the unbelievable

Come be a fool as well

i believe that my mum has learned from Jesus the ‘foolish’ ways of loving. And in her simple way of perseverance, she demonstrates Paul’s admonition that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and that in the final analysis love never fails!

i am learning to love as she loves and in these small steps, i am becoming more ‘foolish’. i want to heed the call to “come be a fool as well”. In a society where love has become an act of frivolity, honestly, i’d rather be a fool.

Happy New Year?

2008-01-29T01:33:00.000+08:00

It has been a very pressurizing 2008 so far. With a deadline (albeit self-imposed) looming over me, I have been labouring at my dissertation since November last year. I have not had much time to work on it since I started teaching and the ‘holidays’ was a good time for me to have some time to focus on it. Everyday seems like a routine this past few week - getting into office, starting to work on the writing, facing the computer screen, having mental blocks, praying that the Lord will give me the words to write. It basically had been a routine and frankly, it has also been affecting my sleep. The approaching deadline is haunting me and it has been difficult getting to bed for a night of restful sleep.

I do appreciate the concern of colleagues and friends, but at this time, the oft asked questions, “How? Have you finished your writing?”, “Still writing?", “Not done yet?” is getting a trifle grating for me. A hug will be much better for me at this time.

It had been a hectic Christmas and honestly, I don’t look forward to the Chinese New Year. There are just too many things to be done. At this present moment, I wonder if I can make the deadline, but nonetheless will continue to plod on.

final thoughts for 2007

2007-12-31T03:42:00.001+08:00

Christmas came and went and we stand at the threshold of the New Year. The New Year brings along with it promises of fresh ambitions, new beginnings, new challenges and new hopes. We tend to be optimistic about the future and apathetic about the past.

For me, it has been a year that seemed to zip past me as though in a flash. There have perhaps been more downs than ups. It was the year when couz left for the mission fields in Thailand. I have also been trying hard to complete my dissertation, a task I am learning, is seemingly impossible when one also has to juggle the responsibilities of teaching at college and ministering in church. It has also been a year when the financial burden seems to be getting heavier and it doesn’t help when people tend to associate lecturers with astronomical salaries. It was almost an almost heart-stopping moment for me to discover that we get less than an audio-technician in a mega-church or a fresh graduate teacher! While the economy is thriving and civil servants can still languish in the pay increments as well as the 2.5 months bonus to help tide them through every conceivable price increases (transportation, food, housing, utilities, et cetera) there has been, there are however, no such serendipities for us at the college, not even a book allowance! Having voiced my grouses, i must also be quick to add that remuneration should and must never be the reason for which we involve ourselves in the ministry.

It has not been an easy year. I need prayers and i need a hug. With all that I am facing, it would have been easier to throw in the towel and there have been many such moments. It is at these times when I would turn to a favourite chapter in the bible which serves always as a reminder that despite the disparity that life affords, there will come a time when He will make all things beautiful again. My rantings above echo that of the Asaph (in the New Living translation) when he wrote:

“…as for me, I almost lost my footing.
My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.
For I envied the proud
when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.
They seem to live such painless lives;
their bodies are so healthy and strong.
They don’t have troubles like other people;
they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else.
They wear pride like a jeweled necklace
and clothe themselves with cruelty.
These fat cats have everything
their hearts could ever wish for!
They scoff and speak only evil;
in their pride they seek to crush others.
They boast against the very heavens,
and their words strut throughout the earth.
And so the people are dismayed and confused,
drinking in all their words.
“What does God know?” they ask.
“Does the Most High even know what’s happening?”

Look at these wicked people -

enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.
Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?
Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?
I get nothing but trouble all day long;
every morning brings me pain.”

These were my sentiments exactly! And like for Asaph, the turning point came for me when I am in God’s presence in His sanctuary again. It is then that Asaph can continue (in the New American Standard version):

When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced within,
Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
With Your counsel You will guide me,
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

The New Year brings with it tremendous challenges, the first of which is my completing my dissertation and going back to Asbury for the defence. My prayers are for:
my mum, for good physical and spiritual health;
for couz, as he ministers in

Thailand

;
for bro, who is still in London;
for my other two bros, one serving at Pei Hwa and the other studying in Sydney;
for ah di, as he completes his studies at NUS;
for those near and dear, at church or in college.

Indeed, as the psalmist writes, so I concur: The nearness of God is my good.

And I conclude this last post with a quote which couz wrote to me in his Christmas card to me:
“You cannot show the preciousness of a person by being happy with his gifts. Ingratitude will certainly prove that the given is not loved, but gratitude for gifts does not prove that the giver is precious. What proves that the giver is precious is the glad-hearted readiness to leave all his gifts to be with him.” John Piper

It is similarly a reminder against the materialism that plagues even the relationships which we share. And for my family, each of my bros, couz and ah di, I resolve to demonstrate that they are indeed precious to me.

Thanking the Lord for each of you readers of this blog…..and wishing you all a blessed 2008!

a blue christmas

2007-12-25T02:37:00.001+08:00

This Christmas is a little different for me because I will be transferring my membership from Bukit Panjang Methodist Church to Charis Methodist Church. I grew up at BPMC and was baptised as an infant that same year I was born. I was confirmed also at BPMC and have served at that church for a majority of my years. It has been a difficult time for me in coming to terms with this transfer. This transfer is perhaps borne out of an ‘economic’ and ‘ecclesial’ necessity, because currently it is Charis who is supporting a major part of my salary at TTC. I have been appointed to Charis as a preacher and my licence to preach at Charis necessitates the transfer of my membership.

I have been sitting on this transfer for some months now and I guess I can no longer afford to procrastinate. There are times I wonder why is it that my home church does not want to come behind and grant me the support which TTC seeks. But I guess that is the issue with most churches when it comes to matters of finance. It simply does not make economic sense to invest money in a person or a ministry for which the donor church is not a direct beneficiary of whatever returns which may be accrued. But isn’t that simply too myopic? I guess for most churches, it is difficult to justify investing for eternity when immediate needs seem more urgent.

I am grateful for the very warm welcome that Charis has accorded to me. But I feel a sense of regret at the ‘farewell’ that I have to bid to BPMC as I transfer my membership. On a personal note, there have been a few occasions when I looked back and felt a sense of ‘abandonment’, where I am now left to re-develop new ties at this new church I am appointed to. This adds to a somewhat inexplicable heaviness of heart during this Christmas season.

Perhaps that was what Jesus felt when He had to leave His heavenly abode, when He had to lay aside His majesty to take on humanity that first Christmas. Not that my transfer of membership is vicarious or salvific in any sense (not at all!), but seen in this light, Christmas may not have been that joyful a season from heaven’s perspective. And as I give some thought to my predicament (somewhat selfishly), I am at the same time comforted that I have a Saviour who gone through all this and more and that I do not take this journey alone. He is Emmanuel, God with us!

Christmas: of costs and convenience

2007-12-22T21:27:00.000+08:00

Once again it’s the mad rush of the year when we all rush to get the best bargains for Christmas gifts. It has been a more hectic time for me as I did not have much time to shop, as i have been working on my writing… hence it has been even more frantic for me planning and purchasing the appropriate gifts for family and friends. It was a crazy day today as I had to send some Christmas goodies to some friends and families who have been very supportive of my studies all these years. In a situation when cab fares have been somewhat astronomically inflated, where all other costs have increased and while most Singaporeans are getting a 2.5 months bonus, I should be content with what I am getting (NO 2.5 months for us at TTC, it’s a dream that has not come true yet and probably not in a long time even if Singapore’s economy should hit double-digit growth!). It would have been convenient to be able to shop and not think about the costs incurred, especially with taxi rides too. But convenience comes with a price, one that makes it increasingly hard to justify taking that taxi ride.

I had to go to six places in about three hours this morning. It would have been a logistical nightmare to lug everything on a bus but it would also have been a financial horror if I were to take a cab. Convenience comes with a cost and it is an increasingly high price to pay. All this makes me more thankful that ah di was able to drive me to pick up the gifts and to send them to different locations across the island. Without him, my ‘health’ as well as my ‘wealth’ would have been severely depleted.

In the evening, I had to make a trip to a place near my home to pick up some books which I had purchased to give away as Christmas presents. This place was no more than ten minutes away from my home by car but an incredulous one hour away by bus (including waiting and walking to the destination). I had hoped to ask ah di to give me a ride there as he was in the vicinity. But it was not to be as he was rushing off to another appointment. The thought of having to spend a bulk of my time waiting for a bus and taking a 15 minute walk to the place of meeting just didn’t seem appealing. And so it was somewhat grudgingly (but not with ah di) that I started on this journey…. “so near and yet will take so long” was a recurring thought. And as Murphy’s Law dictates, I just missed the one bus that goes to my intended destination.

I arrived at the place of meeting just in time for the downpour to begin and I just “thanked” the Lord for this torrential prank He’s playing on me, adding downpour on a depressed person. I managed to borrow an umbrella and began on my journey home and as I trudged along in the pouring rain, somehow it dawned on me how we tend to balance costs and conveniences in our journeys in life. We value conveneince while trying to lower the costs. It’s convenient to own a car, but it comes at a cost. It may not cost as much to take public transport, but it is never convenient (since the bus/train/cab you want to get on somehow never comes when you want them). So this evening I had to take a one-hour journey which could have been a ten-minute ride. It was not convenient and cost me a great deal since time is a constraint.

Yet as I thought about Christmas amidst the downpour, I am thankful that God did not take the path of convenience, nor did He try to save on the costs. Jesus could have been born in a palace, but instead it was a manger which He shared with the other animals. God could have come up with a more convenient arrangement but He decided on the ultimate arrangement that was prodigal and extravagantly costly. It cost Him His only Son. Christmas was not about increasing convenience or saving on costs. Christmas was both ‘inconvenient’ and costly.

And if it meant that for God, hmm… should I be complaining, should i be so concerned about lowering costs or increasing convenience? I am thankful for ah di, for all that he has done for me and for all that he is to me and for indirectly reminding me afresh of the meaning of Christmas. I am most thankful that God decided on a course of action that was not about convenience nor was He concerned about the costs. On this wet and dreary Saturday evening, I understand afresh what it meant for Apostle John to write, “For God so loved the world, He gave….”

Have a blessed Christmas.

A Blessed CHRISTmas

2007-12-16T20:48:00.000+08:00

I wonder if it is just me who is overly sensitive. Once again Christmas approaches and most people around the world are excited about the holiday season, particularly those businesses which are eager to reap the economic profits that have become synonymous with celebrating Christmas. Yet correspondingly, there seems to be a move in the advertisement and consumerist industry to present Christmas as a “Season” or simply as a “Holiday”. Curiously and perhaps with artistic subtlety, Christ has been replaced in all the festive celebrations. Increasingly, it seems more politically correct to wish each other “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” rather than “Have a Merry Christmas”. But if Christmas is a commemoration of Jesus Christ taking on humanity for all our sakes, why should we be tacit in our celebration of this truth? If the shepherds’, Magi’s and angels’ response to the Good News of the birth of Jesus was one of praise, exuberant praise, should we be silent?

The signs of the times are such that it does not seem vogue these days to publicly profess belief in God. Our book shops actively promote some of these authors such as Richard Dawkins, Victor Stenger and Christopher Hitchins. Richard Dawkins is the much talked-about author of the book, “The God Delusion” (September 2006). He is an Oxford biologist who presents his case that the biblical Yahweh is "psychotic," that Aquinas' proofs of God's existence are "fatuous" and religion generally is "nonsense". He insists that the world will be better off without religions. Victor Stenger, a physicist in his book, “God: The Failed Hypothesis. How Science Shows That God Does Not Exist” (Jan 2007), argues along the same mien that humanity’s idea of God is merely a human projection. God is hence something of our emotive imagination, a human construct. Christopher Hitchins, a political commentator, in his more recent book, “God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything” (May 2007), argues that religion is "man-made" and murderous, originating in fear and sustained by brute force. In one fell swoop, he dismisses Dalai Lama, Gandhi, St Francis of Assisi, Mother Theresa and Martin Luther King and presents a reductionist view of religion.

A physicist, a biologist and a political commentator; these are just a few of the numerous others that have sought to deny the existence of God. While their method is blatant and antagonistic, there are evidently other authors who have sought to do so by charming the masses with spinning their own stories that lead in the same trajectory, that of the denial of the existence of God. Foremost among these is the popular author, Philip Pullman.

Prominent New Testament Bible scholar Ben Witherington, who lectures at Asbury Theological Seminary and is the keynote speaker at next May’s Aldersgate Convention in Singapore, warns of the insidious nature of the works of Philip Pullman in his blog. Pullman is unabashedly atheist and in his trilogy “His Dark Materials”, seeks to present his case in a seemingly harmless fantasy story. The first book of the trilogy is entitled “The Golden Compass”. And as you probably have read in the Straits Times recently, this is a special-effects heightened Hollywood production which subtly raises questions and issues questioning the belief in God. Witherington writes on his blog that the second book of the trilogy, The Subtle Knife, is more overt in its hatred of Christianity than the first book, whilst the third, The Amber Spyglass, is even more blatant. Witherington warns that Phillip Pullman is not an author you want young Christian children to read or spend time with. In an interview with the Australian paper The Sydney Morning Herald in 2003, Pullman said that his books are about "killing God". And it is no wonder that a British newspaper commentator calls Pullman the most dangerous author in Britain. Pullman is apparently very anti-C.S. Lewis and subtlety is his game. It is not my intention to ask that Christians boycott this movie, since more often than not the result is counter-effective. But it is more important that we begin to understand the motives for his books; they are not simple innocent stories, but are infused with the goal to disprove God. The movie is a much more watered-down version of the book, yet nonetheless the aim is to lure children (and adults alike) to be attracted to those talking polar bears and get them hooked to reading his books and what better time than Christmas to do so. Hence be warned about this latest movie and more importantly please do exercise caution if you should be considering Pullman’s books as Christmas gifts, for therein lies the paradox.

Emily Elliot wrote the Christmas carol “Thou didst Leave Thy Throne”, depicting the hostility which Joseph and Mary faced at Bethlehem that first Christmas, where “in Bethlehem's home was there found no room for Thy holy nativity.” So it was then and sadly, so it is now. But rather than be seduced by the commercialisation and secularisation of Christmas, my prayers are that we will not keep Christ closeted this Christmas, that we will not mute our praise to God for His indescribable gift. Through exuberant songs of praise as well as through quiet acts of piety, I pray that we all may be the instruments for Christ this Christmas. Let’s continue to keep Christ in our Christmas celebrations and more importantly live out His life in our lives and in so doing echo Elliot’s refrain, “O come to my heart, Lord Jesus, there is room in my heart for Thee.”

Here’s wishing you all a Blessed CHRISTmas.

counting my blessings

2007-10-08T00:50:00.000+08:00

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

October has always been a busy month especially when one is rushing to finish up a dissertation. But amidst the busyness, i wanted to take some time to celebrate the birthday of one who has given a great deal in making me who i am. i have previously written about my mum and dad and have also mentioned about the times in my primary school days when my mum would walk me along the deserted roads in the morning to take the bus to school. Those are memories that has been permanently etched in my heart.

As i celebrate this life that God has placed in mine, i am constantly thankful for the influence that my mum has left for me through her example and her encouragement. She is one of those who would take the time to prepare her Sunday offerings and i do mean prepare, not so much only in setting it aside but also making sure that the bills that she would be placing in the offering bag were new crisp notes. Else she would even iron the bills to ensure that what she gave to the Lord is the best that she can afford. There were other times when our family finances were not that great, yet mum would insist on giving a somewhat substantial amount in Christmas offering or Chinese New Year offering. She would rather inconvenience herself in giving to the Lord as well as those who serve the Lord (especially the pastors). It is in her giving that i have learnt about giving of ourselves for the sake of the Lord.

I have no excuse not to be thankful and not to give God the praise. He has given us His Son, Jesus and He has given me my mum.... i would be doubly guilty and a worse sinner than Judas Iscariot, if i do not better learn what it means to give, as Christ has given and also as mum has given too. Remembering that it was John Wesley who said, "When a man becomes a Christian, he becomes industrious, trustworthy and prosperous. Now, if that man when he gets all he can and saves all he can, does not give all he can, I have more hope for Judas Iscariot than for that man!"

So as we celebrate my mum's birthday, i thank the Lord for double gift of life, through Christ and through my mum. Have a blessed birthday mum....

ps. i love you mum!

ratatouille

2007-09-26T20:37:00.000+08:00

I finally went to watch Ratatouille on Wednesday afternoon. I was feeling kind of down, somewhat hampered by the events of the week and what lies before in the weeks ahead and hence decided to take a little break, hoping that the antics of a Parisian rat who whips up a gastronomic storm will somehow bring me some much needed comfort.

Remy cherished a dream of becoming a chef despite the fact that this was not a rodent-philic profession. His dream went very much against who (what) he is – a rat! Yet with the encouragement of Auguste Gusteau, the famous Parisian chef whose career dictum was “anyone can cook”, Remy went on to fulfill his seemingly impossible dream. Gusteau’s advice to Remy holds true for us as well: “If you focus on what is left behind, you will never see what is ahead.”

Ratatouille is indeed the stuff that Disney cartoons are made of, yet when all the stardust of Disney’s magical creativity has settled, there remains sparkles of truth that may be gleaned from the production. For me, there exists a fundamental similarity between cooks (chefs) and teachers (preachers). Both are involved in feeding people, one physically and gastronomically, the other, academically and spiritually. Yet cooks and teachers are also called to craft our work aesthetically, in such a manner as to further whet the appetite of those whom we feed. And sometimes try as we may, cooks and teachers are also the subject of critical evaluation. It is hard to please everyone. It is so for cooks and chefs and the same applies also for teachers and preachers. The challenge is to live up to the call that has been given to us.

Not unlike cooks, teachers/preachers must stand up to the scrutiny of the critics. But more than just pandering to the gastronomic whims and pleasing the ‘culinary’ palates of the critics and the people, cooks and teachers do well to be reminded of their first love and their primary calling. So on that Wednesday afternoon, I was reminded through Remy the rat, again of God’s amazing grace, who saved a “w-rat-ch” like me and I am reminded to continue to strive to be a ‘cook’, a teacher and to be a good one at that too!

Global Warning - A Reflection on Global Warming

2007-09-24T14:18:00.000+08:00

i wrote this article for a paper which was presented at Trinity Theological College and had a summarised version in Methodist Message. Just thought i'd should post this here as well for those who have not read it.

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On Aldersgate Day 2006, a documentary film on global warming presented by the former Vice President of the United States, Al Gore, opened in New York and Los Angeles. The documentary film, An Inconvenient Truth, went on to win the Academy Award for Best Documentary in 2007. Following closely on the success of the film, Al Gore went on to support the more recent monumental music event, Live Earth, staged in eight cities across the seven continents, in the cities of New York, London, Sydney, Tokyo, Shanghai, Rio de Janeiro, Johannesburg and Hamburg. Held on 7th July 2007 (070707), Live Earth was the musical event to kick-start a three-year campaign in calling individuals, corporations and governments to take action to combat climate change and advocate environmentally-sustainable living. This was to be and continues to be a bid to deliver a worldwide call to action.

On the home front, Mediacorp in seeking to add to the choruses of voices clamouring for Singaporeans’ attention in regard to contributing to global action against global warming has launched a month-long green campaign across its television, news, radio and print platforms. It has also launched a website, http://www.savinggaia.sg/ to reiterate the importance of reducing, reusing and recycling. Mediacorp explains the use of the Greek term Gaia, seeing it as synonymous with “Mother Earth” and bids all Singaporeans to “do your part to save Gaia”. But Gaia is a loaded term and is suggestive of a worldview which may not have resonance with the Christian understanding of a creator God.

Be that as it may, scientists, politicians, celebrities and business entrepreneurs have in one way or another jumped on the ‘green’ bandwagon and in concert called for some action in light of the current global context. Yet it is a little puzzling to me that while global warming is such a ‘hot’ topic [pun intended], it seems that not much has been written on this important issue from a missiological perspective or even preached over the pulpit as a pastoral concern. And my nagging suspicion is perhaps that there has not been much theological reflection given it from our context. This article is in part the result of my musings on the subject of global warming and the implications therein for the Church.

Interestingly, as the centre of Christianity has shifted southwards, the South is becoming more vocal on issues of global warming. One example is Brazilian Methodist theologians who have tried to understand the issue by looking within their own Wesleyan heritage. In particular, Luis Wesley de Souza enlarging upon the Wesleyan Quadrilateral to include creation within the framework, developed a Wesleyan theology of mission which incorporates Wesley’s regard for creation, as evident in Wesley’s correspondences with his friends as well as his sermons and writings. de Souza argues that “Wesley’s repeated use of terms relating to creation suggest that for him, the created order was a source of knowing what is true” - what he calls the hermeneutics of the creation.

Even if we fail to take note of these contributions from these Brazilian Wesleyans, we should not ignore what Wesley had to say with regards to stewardship. In his sermon, “The Good Steward”, Wesley wrote:

We are now God’s stewards. We are indebted to Him for all we have…A steward is not at liberty to use what is lodged in his hands as he pleases, but as his master pleases… He is not the owner of any of these things but barely entrusted with them by another….Now this is exactly the case of anyone with relation to God. We are not at liberty to use what God has lodged in our hands as we please but as God pleases, who alone is the possessor of heaven and earth and the Lord of every creature….[God] entrusts us with [this world’s goods] on this express condition, that we use them only as our Master’s goods, and according to the particular directions which He has given us in his word.

In view of the all that is happening across the world, how should we respond? Can we proceed with the mission of God while at the same time be nonchalant to God’s creation that groans also for salvific intervention? I am not suggesting that we adopt the confrontational practices of various groups but surely as the Methodist Church in Singapore, perhaps more can be done at the General Conference level, at the Annual Conference level as well as within the context of the local church.

Intentionally, with the Annual Conferences coming up, perhaps we can do more in terms of limiting our photocopies of the immense amount of minutes and papers by making them available as ‘soft copies’. If various supermarkets have also encouraged the use of more recyclable bags, why can’t the Methodist Church make this a particular emphasis among the conference delegates as well as church members over the pulpit?

Granted that the climate crisis has become increasing politicized, yet we need to note also that care for creation is also a biblical injunction. It is inherent not only in Wesley’s sermons but also within the biblical accounts. Theologically, this has become an area of concern that we can no longer ignore. The daily news is replete with examples of global warming that we do well to take note. There are also missiological implications as the Church continues to share the message of God’s redemptive love. We cannot purport to bear the message of God’s truth and yet be apathetic to the implications therein. Rather than being seen as a ‘trend follower’ in ‘going green’, should not the Church be the vanguard in being ecologically responsible as this is also inherent in our stewardship of God’s creation? We do well to take note of the ‘signs of the times’ and appreciate the fact that the truth of God’s message should rightly ‘inconvenience’ us and stir us from our inertia and comfort zones!

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I hope we don't need to have to prove the veracity of this Cree saying. It's time to do our part, however small it may be.

blessed birthday di....

2007-09-09T20:08:00.000+08:00

There has been a few important dates to remember as you'd probably notice in the recent posts on this blog. And yesterday, was di's birthday. It has been more than a decade ago since i taught his class at ACS and i am thankful to the Lord for the friendship we shared all these years. We've come a long way..... eating together, watching movies, playing badminton, gyming, touring krabi and australia together. Like couz and bro, di has also been there in the ups and downs of my life. We were also involved in an accident earlier this year. So as i look back, i am thankful for the way the Lord has thus provided and protected us.

As you celebrate this birthday, di, my prayers are with you. Praying the Lord's continued blessings upon you and those whom you hold dear. And also praying that in time you will come to share this faith together with bro, couz and me. Thanking you too for journeying with me on this road of life. Have a blessed birthday, di!

blessed birthday, boo.... opps.... bro!

2007-07-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

It has been a busy week preparing for lectures as well as a presentation. But amidst the busyness, i was still able to take some time off to celebrate the day with bro on his birthday. This is another bro of mine, for whom i am most grateful as he has been one of those who has come alongside me as i minister at Trinity.

I got him a cake and had asked for the words "blessed birthday bro" to be on the cake, but guess what the confectioner wrote instead:

In any case, here's wishing you a blessed birthday BRO! And thanks for walking alongside me this past year and thanks for being family to me. Looking ahead to the times when we will look back to these times we share, as we recline in our rocking chairs recounting the goodness of the Lord in our lives. In the meantime, enjoy the cake bro and blessed birthday bro!

A New Beginning

2007-07-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

The new academic year has begun at Trinity and i have been assigned to teach three of the first year classes. It has been a hectic first two weeks and with Ah Di away in Perth, i have one less person to talk to. Thankfully, God has placed in my life another brother to encourage me along as i take this "rollercoaster ride" in the teaching ministry and especially to pray with me as i teach the church history class every Thursday morning. Thanks bro!

I have a new family group to mentor this year and as with the last FG group, i am glad for each of the members of this family.... we are a motley bunch and in many ways, it is reflective of the many different people that make up the church. It seems that within this last year, i have gained the reputation as the FG that serves good food, perhaps due to the food blog i have.

Looking back, it has been a tiring year teaching and yet not without rewards, albeit perhaps intangible. Perhaps for most of the teaching ministry, rewards will not be tangible. But don't get me wrong, it's not the rewards that motivate me. I am constantly reminded that i am in His business of moulding lives. While this may be through the classes i teach but more often than not, students are impacted through the implicit curriculum that we impart through our lives. And nothing brigthens up my day more than having a student or a friend thank me for brigthening his/hers.

Looking forward, it looks like another nerve-wrecking ride this semester..... i hate roller coaster rides but i know that He will not let me take this ride on my own, as there will be times my bros, couz and di will be around for me. But at times, in their absence, i know that i am not alone.... He is afterall Emmanuel.

my aldersgate

2007-05-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

It has been one of those valley moments for me these past weeks, where there seems to be a sense of inexplicable lack of joy, where the road ahead seems to get tougher, the journey a lot more lonely. Whether one be married or single, young or old, there will always be moments where one yearns for companionship, for someone to walk the journey together. This deep desire for companionship, for fellowship, for friendship underscores the intricate design that the Lord has created within humanity. But in moments like these, where “none go with me”, these feelings of isolation cast a longer and a darker shadow on the already difficult journey. Interestingly i came across this song which resonated with all that i have been feeling.

我不喜欢一个人孤独一个人
数算夜空的星辰
我期待有人陪我陪我渡过
每个日出每个日落
曾经总是一个人孤独一个人
面对生命的所有
我期待有人陪我陪我渡过
每个春夏和秋冬

陪我一起欢笑陪我一起流泪
陪我回忆陪我梦
给我一个拥抱一些些安慰
低落时不离开我
陪我一起欢笑陪我一起流泪
陪我回忆陪我梦
分享我的一切喜乐与哀愁
陪着我天长地久

Perhaps not very different from what John and Charles Wesley themselves, it was with a certain heaviness of heart that i attended the Aldersgate service on 24th May. It was a simple service to remember the heart warming experience that John Wesley felt in 1738, where he later penned in his journal:
“In the evening I went very unwillingly to a society in Aldersgate Street, where one was reading Luther's preface to the Epistle to the Romans. About a quarter before nine, while the leader was describing the change which God works in the heart through faith in Christ, I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ alone for salvation; and an assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death.”

The service that evening did not lift my spirits but as we sung the closing hymn, i was inexplicably overwhelmed. i have sung the words of the hymn so many times but that evening, i gained a deeper appreciation and comprehension when i sang the words afresh,
“Died He for me, who caused His pain, for me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be, that Thou, my God, shouldst die for me? “

As i recall my “Aldersgate experience”, i am again reminded of the words of the Chinese song that i had been listening to. The song does not end with that human yearning, that longing for companionship. It would have been no different from the typical Chinese love ballads that speak of our human need for friendship and for love. The composer, Amy Sand, bridges that basic human need with the love of Jesus Christ, that love that will not let me go. Amidst the feeling of loneliness that she sings about in the opening verses, she has these final four lines, which make all the difference.

如今不再一个人孤独一个人
面对生命的所有
找到一份真爱耶稣的爱
陪我伴我到永久

i am always thankful for ah di. But yes, with couz and bro away from Singapore, i do feel lonely at times, but it is at these times that i must be reminded that being lonely is not synonymous with being alone. We will never be alone so long as we have been found by the love of Jesus. He will never leave us nor forsake us. Loneliness is feeling that as humans we will have to contend with, for there will be times where family, marriage and even the closest friendships can do little to assuage our loneliness. But in our journeying through those dark valleys, we must never believe the lie that we are alone. We are never alone once we have been found by the love of God in Christ Jesus. In our standing and journeying alongside our friends and families, may we too extend His love to satisfy that eternal yearning to “be with me”!

blessed birthday bro

2007-05-21T11:31:00.001+08:00

It is bro's birthday today and unlike previous years, we won't be able to celebrate his birthday together this year. Bro is currently away with his family on a work attachment in London. They have been there for about a year. Looking back, it's already a decade ago since we formally became god-brothers. He had recently returned from studies in Australia then while i was newly appointed to the church and was perhaps not one of those that he had wanted eagerly to meet. But somehow in God’s gracious ways, He allowed our paths to cross and there was a sense of camaraderie between us, a sense of familiarity, a sense of family.

As with couz, bro also took special care of my parents when I left for Asbury in 2000 and he was the person who took care of all my correspondences as well as my bank account. Together with couz and di, these are the ones i trust completely and between whom i keep no secrets.

It would have been great to be able to celebrate bro’s birthday but I guess it will have to be another couple of months, when bro and his family return to Singapore. But for now, despite the distance, I entrust bro into God’s loving care once again and wish him a blessed birthday.

Here’s to you bro…… wishing you God’s best this year and always!

TTC Commencement 2007

2007-05-12T00:25:00.001+08:00

12th of May marks an important milestone for some people, especially for those who are graduating from Trinity Theological College. In many ways I rather prefer the American term of ‘commencement’ rather than ‘graduation’. I guess ‘commencement’ signifies not merely the completion of theological studies at Trinity but also the beginning of a new journey as they move on to serve the Lord in new areas of service. There is something of a finality to ‘graduation’ while ‘commencement’ points not merely the completion of theological training but more evidently a moving on for more learning albeit in a different context.

The graduation ceremony in a way also marks the completion of my first year of teaching at TTC. It has been one great ‘adventure’. It was an inexplicable joy to see the graduands receive their certificates, having gone through three years of training and education. For a few of them, it was a grand moment for me, because I had the awesome privilege of having them in the classes I taught. Much as I was their lecturer, so too I was their student.

Commencement is a joyous occasion, and yet it was also one that is laced with a tinge of the sadness of departures. It is a time of closing a chapter and having to move on…. And honestly, I am not good at goodbyes and I foresee that it will probably be a lot more difficult for me at future commencements because of the many students that I would have had the opportunity of interaction and also the privilege of being their teacher as well as their “student”. But I guess the reward that comes along with teaching is the assurance that each cohort of graduands would have journeyed up the ‘hill’ and have encountered the Almighty, through the lectures, in the library, the lectionary and in the lunches, the laughter and the living together as the TTC community.

To this graduating cohort of 2007, remember to “go and be cracked pots for Jesus”!

six hours another friday...

2007-04-13T22:37:00.001+08:00

di and i had met for lunch and we were on our way back to di’s office after lunch. Driving up Sixth Avenue, we came to the junction of Holland Road and it was then that di noticed that the lights at the traffic junction were not working. The car to the left had stopped, allowing us to make the right turn and di then proceeded. While we were negotiating the turn, both di and I looked to our right and noticed that there were two cars which were driving right into the side of di’s car. It seemed almost true that all of life flashes past at that moment and the next thing I knew was that di’s car was hit. For the next few moments, all of time seemed to come to a standstill as di’s car spun a little and left us a little disoriented.

Looking to di, i asked how he was since his side of the car had taken the brunt of the collision. I was a little devastated and i was very concerned, but di seemed alright. It took a couple of minutes before di could move out from the driver’s seat. I am thankful that di was not injured, but as for the car, it was very badly dented on the driver’s side.

The Murano that had crashed into the side of di’s car had gone on and banged into the other car that had stopped to allow us to make the right turn. The driver seemed shaken but thankfully no one was hurt in the accident. For the next two and half hours, we stood by the accident scene and waited for the traffic police as well as the tow truck to arrive and move the cars. Then it was rushing over to Ubi to make the police reports. By the time we were done with the report, and took a bus ride back to di’s place, it was almost 9pm. It was six hours on Friday the 13th, six hours of devastation, distress, disappointment and despair.

Other than my parents, bro, couz and di are the three persons who matter a great deal to me and even as I recall the incident, I still shudder at the thought of what might have happened if the Murano had been travelling any faster or if di had negotiated the turn any slower. Hence despite the physical damage to the car, I am thankful to the Lord for His protection, for not only is di alright, no one else was also injured in the accident. The stark truth of the fragility of life and the importance of family reverberated through the crash as it continues to be played out in the inner recesses of my mind.

If there be one thing that I want you to know, it is this and you probably know this already: di, I love you a great deal. Yet when compared with Christ, mine is perhaps almost insignificant. It was six arduous hours for us on Friday the 13th….. but Jesus endured much more in that same space of six hours for all humanity, for me and also for you. He took on devastation, distress, despair, destruction and disappointment so that when we ever do come face to face with such again, we can do so with deep sense of hope. Praying for you and also looking forward with … hope.

ps i love you di.

Amazing Love...

2007-04-07T15:39:00.000+08:00

Easter marks the end of Holy Week as we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. But alas, there are some churches who have seem to have selective amnesia, skipping past Palm Sunday and through the week, focusing primarily on celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. While we correctly emphasize the importance of resurrection where Jesus conquered death once and for all, I think we should not do so at the expense of forgeting the significance of the passion (passio, which is the Latin for suffering) and death of Jesus Christ, bearing in mind Paul’s full admonishment in Philippians 3:10, that “I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death”

To observe Easter without Good Friday and to preach the resurrection of Christ without His suffering is to preach a form of Christian triumphalism that is clinically devoid of pain and suffering. We cannot talk about the glory of Christ until we take into consideration the gore that He endured. We perhaps want to see a clean cross as a symbol of our Christian belief in the resurrected Christ, but all too often we forget that the cross is also an instrument of torture on which Jesus Christ suffered and died for all humanity. There can be no glory of the cross without the gore and gory of the same cross. Before there is an Easter Sunday, there has to be a Good Friday. My point is this: let’s not skip or gloss over the fact of the gory details of the suffering Jesus Christ had to endure. But let’s take time to linger, take time to ponder, take time to wonder.....at this holy mystery.

It precisely is a holy mystery because I do not suppose that we will be able to fully comprehend what Jesus suffered as He took the path which led to Calvary. Much can be said of the physical torture He was subjected to and Mel Gibson has done the Church a favour in so vividly depicting the gory details of Jesus' physical suffering in The Passion of the Christ. Below is what a medical doctor has to say about the suffering of Jesus upon the cross at Calvary:

The peribaelum is placed on the ground and the exhausted man is quickly thrown backwards with his shoulders against the wood. The legionnaire feels for the depression at the front of the wrist. He drives a heavy square peg nail through the wrist and deep into the wood. Quickly he moves to the other side and repeats the action, being careful not to pull the arms too tightly, but to allow some flex and movement. The left foot is pressed backward against the right foot and with both feet extended, toes down, a nail is driven through the arch of each leaving the knees flexed. The victim is now crucified. The cross is then lifted in place.

As he slowly sags down with more weight on the nails in the wrists, excruciating, fiery pain shoots along the fingers and up the arms to explode in the brain - as the nails in the wrists put pressure on the median nerves. As he pushes himself upwards the stretching torment, he places the full weight on the nail through his feet. Again he feels the searing agony of the nails tearing through the nerves between the bones of the feet.

As the arms fatigues, cramps sweep through the muscles, knotting them in deep relentless, throbbing pain. With the cramps, comes the inability to push himself upward to catch a breath. Air can be drawn into the lungs but cannot be exhaled. He fights to raise himself in order to get even one small breath. Finally, carbon dioxide builds up in the lungs and in the blood stream and the cramps partially subside. Spasmodically, he is able to push himself upward to exhale and bring in life-giving oxygen.

Hours of this limitless pain, cycles of twisting, joint-rending cramps, intermittent partial asphyxiation, searing pain as tissue is torn from the lacerated back as he moves up and down against the rough timber. Then another agony begins, a deep crushing pain deep in the chest as the pericardium slowly fills with serum and begins to compress the heart. It is now almost over - the loss of fluids in the tissues have reached a critical level - the compressed heart is struggling to pump heavy, thick and sluggish blood into the tissue - the tortured lungs are making a frantic effort to gasp in small gulps of air. The chill of death creeps in slowly through the tissues.

And all this the Bible records in Mark 15:24 in the simple words: And they crucified Him! Jesus endured tremendous physical torture. He also endured unspeakable emotional torment, when He was scorned by the crowds, taunted by the soldiers, sneered by the teachers of the law, mocked by the thief on the cross and deserted by His friends and loved ones. Betrayed, abandoned, forsaken!

We cannot begin to understand what Jesus must have felt as He hung on the cross, for not only did He endure physical and emotional pain, He had to endure also the spiritual pain of being forsaken, for as He took upon Himself the sins of the whole world upon the cross, Jesus had to endure also forsakenness. Forsaken even by His Heavenly Father! Michael Card puts it so well when he writes in his song, Love Crucified Arose, “At last the time to love and die, the dark appointed day, that one forsaken moment when His Father turned His face away.” What wondrous love is this! Who can know and who can account for the pain our Lord had to bear? What did it mean for Him to endure the wrath of a Holy God for my sins and for yours as well? Similarly, it is inconceivable that God the Father suffered no pain when His only begotten Son’s cry of dereliction came screaming through His throne in heaven! “Amazing love, how can it be - that Thou my God shouldst die for me?”

Jesus suffered all that for you and for me..... He endured pain such that His pain has become our gain. I believe that an understanding (albeit an incomplete one) of the gore of Jesus' passion adds a deeper dimension to our worship as we celebrate the glory of His resurrection.

God be with ye, couz...

2007-04-02T00:13:00.000+08:00

As I look back, it has been a decade since I got to know Couz. It has also been that long a time since I was first got to know Ah Di when I stepped into the class as his pastoral care tutor. Ten years is a pretty long time to get to know someone. I remember the time when I had to leave for studies at Asbury, it was tough leaving behind my parents as well as Couz, Bro and Ah Di. I loathe farewells and I dread goodbyes and understandably the two places I dislike are the hospital and the airport. I head to the airport later on with a heavy heart because it will be a send off, this time for Couz.

Couz is leaving for Thailand as a missionary with OMF and there are valid reasons why this is a send off of a more joyous kind. There were moments in which Couz and I prayed together as he sought to make a response to God’s call into the mission field. I prayed that he will be obedient and respond as God so calls him into ministry and I can hardly contain my joy when he told me about his decision to go. But as I stand on this threshold of his imminent departure to Thailand, that joy has in some way given way to a certain sadness in seeing him go and I figure that it will be a sadness that I will find uncontrollable as we bid each other farewell.

I got to know Couz when I was first appointed to the church at a time when the church was embarking on a new building. The youth leaders were strongly encouraging the youths to give of their ang-pao money towards the building fund and being in the army at that time, Couz gave of his entire army allowances for two consecutive months, in faith towards the fund. This selfless giving is deeply etched in my heart and so began a friendship that has gone through a great deal of ups and downs. A few of the youth leaders remarked that we looked rather that each other and got me to pose as his cousin in order to play a prank. The prank resulted in our calling each other “Couz”.

I returned from Asbury for a semester break the year the movie, The Fellowship of the Ring opened in Singapore and we watched the movie together. In the following year, I made it back to Singapore to watch The Two Towers and we were able to catch The Return of the King in the December of 2003 when it premiered in Wellington, New Zealand. In many ways, we identified with the bond of friendship between Frodo and Samwise Gamgee as they sought to fight the evil forces of Mordor and promised to stand alongside each other regardless of what the future holds.

Words are inadequate when one has to let a loved one go. I don’t presume that I can fully comprehend the heart of God when He had to turn His face away when Jesus took upon himself the sins of the world upon the cross of Calvary some two thousand years ago. But perhaps in bidding Couz farewell, I begin to have a sense of that sorrow that God must have felt when Jesus was crucified. Yet Jesus’ suffering, death and resurrection is vicarious and sacrificial and I know that in the same token, Couz’s obedience in leaving for the mission field in Thailand is somewhat similar.

Couz, I will miss you very much but I know that in His time, our paths will cross yet again. I will keep my promise to constantly stand alongside you, all the more so in prayer. Until then, fare thee well and God be with ye, Couz.

blessed birthday couz...

2007-03-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

It is Couz's birthday today and i just want to take this opportunity to wish him a very blessed birthday. Couz is not my real cousin but because we look somewhat alike, we were referred to as cousins and hence we started referring to each other as 'Couz'. Through the years, we've become god-brothers too. Looking back, it's been a decade ago that we got to know each other and time seems to fly by.

When i left for my studies at Asbury, it was Couz who stood alongside me and help me take care of my parents in Singapore. We prayed together with regards to his ministry plans and words seem so inadequate the day Couz told me that he decided to obey the Lord's call to be involved in mission work in Thailand. I guess we will be separated by distance again but more importantly, the truth in Michael W. Smith's song, "friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them" rings true. How much more so for Couz, who's more than a friend..... he's family, he's my brother.

Here's to you couz...... have a blessed birthday and i look forward to having another meal with you, whether it be in Thailand or here in Singapore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COUZ!

Eason's the reason

2007-01-19T14:15:00.000+08:00

For the last week, i was a little more upbeat because i was looking forward to attending a concert by..... (drumroll)...... Eason Chan.

As i mentioned in my previous post, there is a certain depth in Eason's songs which i can connect with. Well, i am just thankful that i was at the concert with di and jy. Well, perhaps there will be an opportunity for me to talk with the singer himself someday, about the context of some of his songs such as Shall We Talk and Thank You. And perhaps one day, Eason (if he has not) will also come to discover the Person, who is the real reason for all the seasons of our lives.

The Last Post for 2006

2006-12-31T23:55:00.001+08:00

As 2006 come to a close, I find myself on another emotional roller-coaster. While Christmas will always be a reminder of God’s eternal love, the season brings with it sad memories for me as well; it was barely 2 years ago, just 2 days after Christmas that we received news that my dad was suffering from terminal cancer of the liver. Shortly following that, he was called home to Jesus. In this regard, Christmas will always be accompanied with a sense of loss for me.

The new year in 2007 portends another ‘loss’ in my life, when Couz leaves for a two-year mission in Thailand. Couz has been more than a brother to me and through the ups and downs of my life this past decade, he has stood by me. I cannot begin to tell him how much I will miss him. In a sense, it seems hard to welcome 2007. Yet I am also reminded that it has been our constant prayer that both of us be in places where we are most useful to God’s purposes and if it is in Thailand that Couz’s ministry will impact the people, then this ‘loss’ is still a gain.

In seeking for some consolation, it is interesting that I should find it in the music of Cantopop’s ‘Ultimate Singer’ Eason Chan. Eason’s songs have a certain parabolic quality in them. They tell stories of life, stories of love, of family, of friendships and to me, not unlike the Psalms or Proverbs, cause us to take a second reflective look at our own lives and our loves.

Eason has a song in one of his albums which recounts the feelings of one who has lost a loved one. The reason for the loss is not known, yet the resolution it projects deserves our attention, because it moves from grief to an expression of gratitude. In the song, the home he returns to has lost a sense of warmth because that loved one is no longer around. In the emptiness of one’s existence, he comes to an acute realization of the love that he has often taken for granted. It perhaps reflects our human condition that oftentimes it is only when we lose something or someone that we begin to appreciate the person’s influence and the impact on our lives. Oftentimes it is in their absence that we begin to better comprehend the love that has been bestowed.

谢谢

累了一天回家没人等门
有灯坏了房间显得冰冷
肚子好饿想要吃碗泡面
热水瓶里开水, 一涕不剩

这里少了你的笑和眼神
好象什么都蒙上了灰尘
原来我才是最依赖的人
我需要你比你需要我深

谢谢你的照顾, 你的体贴
给我一个美好的世界
我把幸福看得太简单了点
你有多用心, 我却没有发觉
谢谢你的照顾, 你的离开
让我对爱有更多了解
现在才说, 也许太晚了一点
失去过的人, 会更珍惜一点

I hope that we will not need to look back in our relationships with a sense of regret as in the song but that this will inspire us to take our relationships and friendships with a deeper sense of love and appreciation. So as I look forward to 2007, I guess there are a number of people that I want to say a word of thanks to, for which includes my mum, couz, bro, di, twinbro, my ‘mentees’ and my ‘families’ in the USA. I am thankful that the Lord has placed me in your paths on this journey of life and I know that I am a better person because of each of you. And it is with a deep sense of gratitude that I say to you all, 谢谢, for because of you, my life has been enriched.

A Blessed Christmas...

2006-12-25T16:34:00.000+08:00

Christmas is finally here and for the past week, if you have been to Orchard or perhaps to the place where almost half the population of Singapore is, Vivo City, you would have noticed that this is perhaps that crazy time of the year where we rush around and shop till we drop, both literally and financially. I was at Vivo City a few days ago not merely to shop but also to watch a movie, actually I watched 2 movies in about 24 hours. I wanted to watch the movie, The Nativity Story, which sought to present the struggles of Joseph and Mary as the parents of the infant Jesus. I also watched the Zhang YiMou’s latest epic The Curse of the Golden Flower, which I enjoyed as well.

For me, The Nativity Story stood in stark contradiction with The Curse of the Golden Flower. The first was set in the silent barrenness of desert highlands while the other was set in the glimmering opulence of imperial courts. The drab earthy tones of the setting of The Nativity Story contrasted with the golden extravagance of The Curse. While both presented the story of a family in the face of calamity and uncertainty, caught in political and personal intrigue, the similarity ended there. Suspicion, doubts, mistrust, betrayal, led to murder and bloodshed in The Curse of the Golden Flower while the storyline of The Nativity Story offered a completely different path. There were questions, there were doubts, there were uncertainties, yet the family in The Nativity Story outlined the distinctly opposite direction of a family that is thus led by love. Such was the contradiction and as I mulled over the two movies, it helped provide a way for us to consider afresh the seeming contradictions that every Christmas brings.

Jesus 's birth posed a threat to Herod's security and for fear of losing control of his physical kingdom, Herod massacred all the infants and children aged two and below in a desperate bid to exert his authority. Jesus was born hence in a city where all the children were mercilessly butchered. There was joy and yet it was also a time of sorrow. Somehow, things don't seemed to have changed a great deal today. Christmas brings with it certain contradictions. But as we focus on the Christ this Christmas, we begin to understand afresh that:

There is suffering in the world but also a God who comes to share it!
There is uncertainty in the world but also a God who helps us face it!
There is death in the world but also a God who overcome it!

Emmanuel! Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift.

I want to take this opportunity to wish you and all you hold dear, a blessed Christmas and a great year ahead in 2007.

A Way in the Manger

2006-12-04T23:32:00.000+08:00

This is an article i contributed to the CAC News December issue. I guess i should also have it posted here as well.

I have been asked to contribute regularly to this publication and it is both a humbling experience as well as a joy to be able to do so. The one major problem I have is of course what to write about. I guess perhaps this is where I would like to ask of you (the readers) to please drop me a note (at apeh@ttc.edu.sg) if there are any issues which require some attention or clarification. But my initial inclination is that this be a place for us to pause and ponder a little deeper into the issues which affect us on a daily basis; a place where we can discern the fingerprints of God in the tapestry of our lives; a place where we can discover the footprints of God in the way He has carried us through life’s seemingly unbearable moments; a place where we can detect the voice of God through such mediums as movies, books and the arts. I believe that God can and do speak to us even through the medium of movies such as George Lucas’ Return of the Jedi; or through the artistry of a painting such as Rembrandt’s The Return of the Prodigal, or through the eloquent imagination of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Return of the King. Most evidently, God speaks to us through the Scriptures, but when we in our neglect of His word, have malformed prayer into a mere transaction with a cosmic vending machine, God continues to doggedly pursue us and splashes His messages in various mediums that seeks to draw us back into conversation with Him. Throughout the Bible, God has chosen prophets to speak for Him and has also curiously employed such as a donkey, a burning bush, a pillar of cloud, five loaves and two fishes and ultimately a cross to get our attention. But are we listening?

There is an account of a person who asked a rabbi, “Why did God choose to speak to Moses from the thorn bush?” Surely God could have appeared in a flash of lightning or in somewhat more majestic and thundering proportions. The rabbi gave it some thought and replied, “To teach us that there is no place on earth where God’s glory is not, not even in a humble thorn bush.”

In the manner that God employed in His speaking to Moses, can we not perceive divine humility, which finds its most profound climax when divine eloquence was articulated through the whimper of an infant, born of a teenage girl in a stinking dinghy stable? The Word became flesh, not in an antiseptically clean hospital but in a dark and dinghy manger. But why would God chose to speak thus? Ken Gire in Windows of the Soul suggests,
“To teach us, I think, that there is no time, no place, no event so earthly that God cannot be there, speaking through them. These moments where earth is crammed with heaven, these Bethlehem moments where something divine is birthed through very human wombs, will go unnoticed unless we realise the meek and unassuming way that God characteristically comes.”

Caught in the bewildering drift of a society that is constantly changing, it seems that we are victims of the tyranny of time. The one line that perhaps we often think of, is “Where got time?” (guess we do think in Singlish as well). We have laid aside the Scriptural mandate of keeping the Sabbath and the Psalmist prescriptive Selah in order to pursue a path that leads inevitably to physiological exhaustion, spiritual apathy and theological ignorance.

Some two thousand years ago, the city of Bethlehem hummed with activity. The traders and merchants were unaware that God had visited the planet. And I guess the innkeeper would never have believed that he had sent God out into the cold. And the common folk would probably scoff at anyone who told them that Messiah lay in the arms of a teenager somewhere in some dirty stable. They were all too busy to consider the possibilities.

Unlike Herod, they who missed Messiah’s birth that day missed it not because of evil acts of malice. But like Herod, they all missed Messiah’s birth because they were too busy, too distracted to open their hearts to Him. Perhaps if we looked around us, little has changed these two thousand years. We still have no room for Him. But God remains immutable and He continues to speak to us today and is calling us to return to Him. He has provided for us a Way in the manger.

This will perhaps be a cacophonous Christmas with it characteristic distraction of commercialised consumerism. Amidst the busyness of preparing for Christmas, will you not pause and ponder what God is saying to you? Make this a Christmas where the Word of God, incarnated in Jesus, is the focus of our attention.

Blessed Christmas.

blessed birthday di....

2006-09-08T00:12:00.000+08:00

It's my god brother's birthday today and i guess this is just one way to let him know that i am truly blest to have him as a brother. Praying God's abundant blessings on him this day and always.......

for the chocoholic that di is, here's a 'cake' for you, di.....you'll get the real one soon..... picture above, 'courtesy' of Canele Patisserie..... check out the cakes and pastries there, they make fantastic treats.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, di!

'C' no evil...

2006-08-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

It just occurred to me that the last time I blogged was a few months back. I guess the issues which bogged me down have not been adequately nor fully resolved; and if there be any resolution, it seems way beyond me and the truth is that I am still in the valley, but at least I know who’s journeying with me.

I have already begun teaching at Trinity Theological College as a full-time faculty, since July and perhaps the stresses of starting a teaching ministry has helped me focus on the more important and urgent issues rather than dwell on matters for which I can do little to alleviate. I look forward to the adventure ahead that teaching at TTC affords, but I want only to go ahead only as the Lord leads. I am thankful for couz and for di who’s stood by me through these years, as well as for the many others who have supported me financially and spiritually. Thanking the Lord for you all…..

As I begin teaching, my prayers are that the Lord will protect me from cold, clinical competency, from complacency and from cynicism. As I teach and relate to the students, my prayers that I will not do so with cold, clinical professionalism, but that whatever head knowledge will also be tempered with passion and compassion, that comes from the heart. I hope too that there will never be a time when complacency will be allowed to take root; that I will be preparing well for any class even years from today despite whatever experience I might have gained. Finally, I pray that the Lord will continue to keep me always humble and hence always teachable, not allowing the politics at work or even in church (yes, even in church!) wear out whatever enthusiasm I have. In that respect, I pray that the Lord will always make me aware of times when I need to be critical and when I should keep from being cynical (there is a difference between the two). Lord, keep me from these Cs!

journey into the valley

2006-05-18T04:19:00.000+08:00

I recently shared about journeying through the valley of the ‘shadowiest’ shadows and perhaps the events of this week may be my journey into that valley. It has not been a great week, perhaps I should say that it’s been a humbling week. It is especially humbling when you thought that you had been faithful in discharging your (former) responsibilities and found that perhaps, it may not have been that well approved after all. It is a lot more disappointing when you realized that with all that training, you may not be well received even by those communities you refer to as home. It is all the more ironic that it is back home in Singapore that I find myself feeling dragged down by feelings of inequity, of inadequacy and of redundancy. I feel sidelined, spurned, snubbed and slighted. It is at this time that I am perhaps more in need of a listening ear or an assuring hug.

I dare not draw a parallel with Jesus who Himself did not receive a warm welcome in His hometown. But perhaps the lesson I need to continually learn is that of humility and of utter dependence upon the Lord. But for the moment, I can only seek solace in the words of Michael W. Smith’s song,

I have been unfaithful, I have been unworthy,
I have been unrighteous and I have been unmerciful.
I have been unreachable, I have been unteachable,
I have been unwilling and I have been undesirable.
And sometimes I have been unwise.
I’ve been undone by what I’m unsure of.
But because of you and all that you went through
I know that I have never been unloved.

I have been unbroken, I have been unmended,
I have been uneasy and I’ve been unapproachable.
I’ve been unemotional, I’ve been unexceptional,
I’ve been undecided and I have been unqualified.
Unaware, I have been unfair,
I’ve been unfit for blessings from above.
But even I can see the sacrifice you made for me
to show that I have never been unloved.
It’s because of you and all that you went through
I know that I have never been unloved.

The Anatomy of Deception

2006-05-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

Perhaps the most anticipated movie after the Lord of the Rings trilogy is due to open this week all across the world - Da Vinci Code. The book has been on the bestseller lists for a very long time and presumably it is an intriguing read. The author, while claiming it as a novel in the opening pages of the book, emphasizes somewhat paradoxically that it is based upon facts. For the uninitiated in the early history of the church, the ‘facts’ that the author presents seem almost believable because it is cleverly constructed and packaged as a conspiracy which the Church has for ages tried to keep under wraps. Jesus is presented as a mere mortal, who did not die on the cross, secretly married Mary Magdalene and fathered a daughter. How far is that removed from the Truth! How insidious is the conspiracy wherein the author himself has repackaged Gnosticism into a religious thriller aimed at the undermining the very foundations of historical Christianity. The Da Vinci Code is Gnosticism revisited and repackaged to pander to the demands of an increasingly post-modern humanity. Bible scholars, theologians and pastors have written numerous publications to demonstrate the fallacies contained therein. Even today, a senior editor of the Sunday Times has categorically debunked the code in Da Vinci’s Last Supper as espoused in the novel and questioned if perhaps da Vinci himself may have been defamed by the novel.

The National Council of Churches of Singapore had earlier written to the authorities for a review the movie and apparently has been given the snub. The movie will be released with a rating of NC-16 based upon the notion that it is a ‘thriller’ and that a more mature audience will be able to make the seemingly wise choice of deciding for themselves the difference between fact and fiction. This leaves me wondering if Hollywood should ever decide to turn Salman Rushie’s Satanic Verses into a blockbuster, will it also receive a NC-16 rating and be screened in the cinemas here in Singapore as a thriller? There seems to be incongruity in the decision. Where different works deemed as disparaging and deleterious to the other religions are so vehemently proscribed in the name of religious sensitivity, the defence for the Christian faith is altogether disappointing. Perhaps it is my naiveté, but I had believed that we are “one united people, regardless of race, language and religion”.

Having voiced my disenchantment, I am also somewhat optimistic with the challenges that this ‘thriller’ presents. It is no novelty that Christianity has had bad press. Christians the world throughout have suffered for the sake of what they hold as truth. That is the example that is set forth by Jesus Himself. In the Incarnation, in the humiliation, affliction and crucifixion of Jesus Christ, we learn the supreme example that God’s grace is always sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness. Michael Card so poignantly encapsulates our response in his song, God’s Own Fool

It seems I've imagined Him all of my life as the wisest of all of mankind
But if God's holy wisdom is foolish to man, He must have seemed out of His mind
For even His family said He was mad and the priest said, "A demon's to blame,"
So God in the form of this angry young man, could not have seemed perfectly sane

Chorus:
When we in our foolishness thought we were wise
He played the fool and He opened our eyes
When we in our weakness believed we were strong
He became helpless to show we were wrong
And so we follow God's own fool
For only the foolish can tell
Believe the unbelievable
And come be a fool as well

So come lose your life for a carpenter's Son, for a madman who died for a dream
Then you'll have the faith His first followers had and you'll feel the weight of the beam
So surrender the hunger to say you must know and the courage to say I believe
Let the power of paradox open your eyes and blind those who say they can see

An expert in Leonardo da Vinci, Mrs Wells has this piece of advice: “If you really want to know da Vinci, go into a bookshop and get books on him, but stay away from the Da Vinci Code. Make your own judgement.” In that same token, I might add, if you really want to know Jesus Christ, go to church, read the bible but stay away from the Da Vinci Code. We need to discern the subtle difference between a novel thriller and factual truth and perhaps this book/movie has accurately displayed our somewhat shaky understanding of our historical foundations. The author has done us a favour in exposing our inadequacies, where we should be grounded in Truth, in the Word, we rather spend an inordinate amount of time wallowing in shallow thrillers. Not that we should be ignorant of popular culture, but we need to bear in mind that while the thriller excites us temporarily, the Truth equips us for eternity.

Not that a faith based on historical fact needs to be defended against charlatans who peddle conspiracy theories to discredit what is Truth. I am thus sanguine because this ‘thriller’ presents us with an opportunity to show to those who have yet to know and to point them to the truth (of the da Vinci hoax) and to the Truth! In the meantime, we just need to be His fools and persist in telling the story of this God who became man, suffered, died, resurrected and will return again to right all the wrongs.

mum's the word!

2006-05-09T02:08:00.000+08:00

I don’t have a large family, partly because my parents were one of those who heeded the call of the government to stop at two. I do envy families where siblings are so close to each other because I am not that close to my only sibling. I am thankful however for couz and my di-s, whom the Lord has so graciously allowed our paths to cross – they are family to me, they are more than brothers to me. They have been (and are) a great influence in my life.

The other significant people are my parents. Sadly, it was when i was away in Wilmore Kentucky that i realised that all these years i had taken them for granted. We often confuse the essentials with the mundane, such that it is only at times when we are removed from the significant people in our lives that we begin to appreciate their significance. I had wanted to celebrate their wedding anniversary last year and had prepared the invitation cards. A few weeks prior to my dad's diagnosis I took the following picture with the expressed theme of “Still Holding Hands” for their wedding anniversary.

That anniversary celebration was not to be because my dad could not be discharged. My parents had a simple celebration at the hospital and a few weeks later, my dad finally rested in the Lord. It was at the crematorium that my mum broke down uncontrollably as she bade farewell to the one she had shared more than four decades of her life with. In many ways, I am the person I am, largely because of my mum and her faith in the Lord.

I remember the days when I was eight; she would wake me up in the wee hours of the morning (about 5 am) and we would walk from home to her work place, where the school bus will pick me up to go to school by 6.30am. Traffic along Upper Bukit Timah Road is still light considering that many are still in slumber land at that time. But it was time with my mum, which to me now is a cherished memory. At times when I was still feeling very sleepy, she would have me on piggy back and she’d be singing hymns as she trudged along. There are many other such moments and through all these years, it was her faith that carried me along.

I am thankful to the Lord for my mum and want her to know, “Ma, I love you!”, not only because Mother’s Day is around the corner but more importantly, because my love is but a reflection of her love for me. Seen in that light, I have a deeper apprehension of the fact that “we love because He first loved us.” [I John 4:19]

Appreciate your mum not only this Mother’s Day but always….. and for all the mothers reading this……..Blessed Mother’s Day!

Of Deaths and Departures

2006-04-26T02:33:00.000+08:00

I hate departures, I detest goodbyes and I have once mentioned that there are two places that I dislike; the hospital and the airport departure hall. I guess I am adding one more to the two, the crematorium. My uncle and the father of a very close family pastor-friend passed on last Thursday. Both have had a prolonged period of illness and both are now resting in the Lord. Over the weekend, we walked that final tearful journey of bidding both of them farewell, with the faith that Jesus bears them safely to heaven’s shores, to a place where sin cannot molest, where disease cannot mortify and where death no longer has any sting; to a place where there will be no night.

This brings to mind Shakespeare’s poignant words, “Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow!” They no longer need to suffer the pains for which the illness inflicts. Yet for those they left behind, the departure is a sorrowful experience not only because of the many things that have been left undone, or hopes unattained or wishes unfulfilled but also of the many tender moments that can henceforth, only be cherished in thought rather than in presence. Mercy Me wrote a song that deals with why we are so broken with the departure of a loved one and accredits it to being homesick. Beyond the brokenness, Homesick speaks of the hope of a reunion that those in Christ can look forward to.

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again, To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Interestingly, Sunday Times (23rd April, page 30) carried an article of the memoirs of Eugene Kelly, the CEO of KPMG, who at 53 was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and died last September. Before the diagnosis, being the driven man that he was, he could only squeeze in two working lunches with his wife over a period of one decade! The diagnosis forced him to think about his death and more importantly about his life, and to deal with whatever tasks he had to do, the most important of which is “to stop long enough to think about the people we love and why we love them”.

I believe that for Christians, death is not a full-stop, it is more a semi-colon because in encountering death and departures, in coming face to face with death, we pause and are forced to deliberate more deeply life and all that it entails. But we don’t need a diagnosis for us to pause and ponder the possibilities of a life well spent with the significant people in our lives, we don’t need to be faced with death before we begin to appreciate life. Carpe Diem, seize the day and make your ordinary moments in life, extraordinary!

And yes, i still hate departures......

Shall We Talk?

2006-04-12T01:34:00.000+08:00

This is the most important week in the Christian calendar. It is a solemn week, a sacred week, a week of sorrows, a week that should have a singular focus. Yet as I attended the Palm Sunday service at a church, I was surprised that except for a brief mention during the sermon, not a single aspect of the worship service highlighted the significance of this sacrosanct week. The events of Palm Sunday, leading up to the passion, the death and the resurrection of Jesus Christ had been ironically overshadowed by an impending launch of Rick Warren’s Forty Days of Purpose. Perhaps in our enthusiasm, we have forgotten that any programme, regardless of how great the content or how well it is planned or executed, should never eclipse the pre-eminence of Jesus. I am reminded of what my “ta ge” has once said, that he does not care too much for any Christian programme/book that takes on a life of its own and usurps the centrality of Jesus, regardless of how popular or good that programme/book is. There was no room for Christ at Christmas, and ironically there seems to be no room for Him at Easter, even as we commemorate the last week in the life of Jesus Christ.

We rather keep ourselves busy, than to slow down and spend time with those that are important to us. We are increasingly busy with the urgent, and always at the expense of the important. We were created with this desire for fellowship, a desire to be in communion. Yet how often have we disenfranchised the significant people in our lives? This is perhaps symptomatic of our deeper human spiritual condition. Perhaps we are so busy that we not only have little time to spend with significant people in our lives, we may well be so busy that we have little or no time to spend in solitude and solemnity with our Saviour. When was the last time we shared a heart to heart moment with the significant people in our lives? When was the last time we spent a few moments in quietude, enjoying God’s creation and simply enjoying His presence.

Among the many recording singers, I am most partial to Eason Chan, whose songs perhaps have more depth than some of the songs we sing regularly at church services. One of his songs, Shall We Talk, perhaps speaks eloquently of the situation not only in our society but also of our personal lives. It reflects the breakdown of communication in the family, where even the time spent between couples can be described as even more bland than a glass of plain water. He questions: Has our relationships degraded to that between strangers? Is there nothing else to talk about? Have we forgotten the power of love which binds us together?

The song reflects a deeper spiritual truth, one in which reflects God’s desire for us to constantly be in conversation with Him. This being Holy Week, perhaps it’s only appropriate that we take a pause from the busyness of our hectic schedules to give some thought about what Jesus went through in the final week of His earthly life. In giving up His life for us, the Lord has demonstrated what it means to love sacrificially and poses to us the eternal question, Shall We Talk?

A new Revolution...

2006-03-24T22:36:00.000+08:00

Thursday, 23rd March 2006 was another significant day in my life. It marked the start of teaching at Trinity Theological College. I had been asked to stand in for the remaining classes for Church History II. It was a little daunting to take the 2 hours session in front of about forty students and to teach on the impact of the French Revolution! Thankfully, the session went well (in my opinion, though perhaps the students may beg to differ - ha ha)

As usual, I was a nervous wreck the day before but was able to get prayer support from couz. Di helped calmed my nerves too as he drove me to Trinity that morning. Being early at TTC, I spent a few moments of quietness before the Lord at the prayer garden on the fourth level before going to class. Those few moments were significant for it reminded me afresh that Jesus’ ministry is also derived and dependent upon those prayer moments with His Father.

I am thankful to couz and to di for standing alongside me. It’s a beginning, an Ebenezer for me and I know that as I look back upon my life, this will definitely have a great impact, perhaps even greater than the French Revolution!

A milestone in my life...

2006-03-04T01:26:00.000+08:00

Today, 3rd March 2006 at about 11pm (thanks to di) I jogged a total of 4.05km. The feeling is exhilarating!

Over the hill?

2006-02-28T18:45:00.000+08:00

It was tough as I approached my birthday, the start of the middle aged years…. ha ha. This was to be a watershed year for me as I press on to complete my dissertation. I had hoped to get it all done and graduate this Spring semester but alas, it is a project still in progress. Guess I can only enjoy a happier birthday once I complete all the requirements of the doctoral studies.

Looking back and looking around, I wonder what I have done with all these years of my life. Perhaps only time will tell but sadly, it doesn't seem that I have achieved a great deal. I am still single; I have yet to work since I am still officially a student; I have yet to own any property I can call my own; I have yet to own a car; I don’t have more than 3-figure sum in my bank account though I may have a credit card. I guess I don’t have much of what is deemed through a societal perspective as success.

Yet when I count the blessings, I still have a mother, who to me, is a reflection of God’s love and has not only nourished me physically but more importantly spiritually. I have a couz whom we can share openly with and has promised to stand alongside me through life, who continues to be a light in the often dark journey of life. I have a 弟 (di) whom we can hang out together, who pushes me on in the gym as well as in the completion my dissertation and who for the past years have been a well of refreshment for a somewhat prematurely tired warrior in the battlefields of life. For each of them, I have more than sufficient reason to be thankful; for each of them is an Ebenezer that I am a work still in progress and that the Lord is not done with me. Despite my failings, God remains faithful. And through them, I have evidenced that though I am poor, yet I am rich, though I am weak, yet I am strong.

I have had a few sms messages, a few telephone calls (2 from my brothers in US), a few dinners, a surprise birthday song and piece of mango cake, a couple of birthday cards and gifts. And for each of these friends and loved ones, I thank God for their simple act of remembering. And I want to say “Thank You” to each of you too, for making it special for me. You have helped made an ordinary day in the life of an ordinary person a lot more extraordinary.

I Not Stupid Too

2006-02-20T14:40:00.000+08:00

I went to the movies again with di and we watched I Not Stupid Too. I know that many have had enough of Jack Neo and perhaps reading all the reviews of those ‘tear jerker’ moments in the movie served only to strengthen my resolve not to allow the ‘flood gates to overflow’….. but (the catch word) guess I was not strong enough. I guess the director had intended to juxtapose the more sentimental scenes by adding some immediate comic relief, which had the effect of bringing one on an emotional rollercoaster ride. The movie stirred up a lot in me as it brought up childhood memories of yesteryears as well as memories of my somewhat short stint at ACS (I). One question that continually surfaces for me is this: Why do we choose to be reticent about what we really feel, especially of those nearest and dearest to us? I understand that actions often speak louder than words, but there are times when we need to offer acceptance, assurance and affection in those simple three words.

Leaving a Legacy...

2006-01-28T10:17:00.000+08:00

It is Chinese New Year’s eve and perhaps I should be thinking of much more auspicious stuff but I found myself thinking about death. Sometime around this time last year, my dad was still around, but this year…. I spent the wee hours of the morning reworking my funeral arrangements, who to do the eulogies, who to give the sermons and which songs/hymns to be sung. It’s a morbid thing to be working on, in preparation for Chinese New Year, but this 'exercise' was something we had to do in our counselling class at Trinity a long time ago.

Death and departures leaves voids in our lives which few can fill. I am not only thinking of my dad but also the wake services I have attended these past few weeks - one was a Sunday School student of mine many years back and another, the mother of an ACS colleague and friend. As the friends and families walked passed that body of the young man, whose life was claimed by cancer, I thanked the Lord for the life that he has led. One of his last wishes was his expressed desire that all his friends will also come to know His Saviour and Lord, who has conquered death Himself. I tried to comfort his parents with words of encouragement. And her words, in return, encouraged me - “Andrew, thank you for being his Sunday school teacher.” The other wake service was well attended by many family members and friends, who gave testimonies of how the life of this strong lady, who at once was a wife, sister, mother, mentor, friend and ‘shepherd of the pastors’, had enriched the lives of many she has come in contact with. In death, we cherish the past, we mourn the present and more importantly, we celebrate the future, in anticipation of the working out of the legacies which continue to linger in the lives that have been touched.

Last night, I watched Jet Li’s Fearless with the two of the most important people in my life. Amidst the busyness of life in Singapore, I am glad for these little serendipities of being able to spend time with people who mean a ‘damn’ (sorry, I don’t know how best to put it) great deal to me. If you don’t already know, movies do a lot to me and I left the cinema with this huge question stuck in my mind - What kind of legacy will I leave behind?

Perhaps to think of death and dying during the Spring celebrations is a little inappropriate. But perhaps this Spring season, a season which signifies promises of new life, should cause us to give some thought to the legacy that we leave behind. And I am reminded of a quote from another movie (any guesses?) - “What we do in life, echoes through eternity!”

I take this opportunity to wish you and those you hold dear, a blessed and meaningful Chinese New Year.

Dislocation…..

2006-01-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

We are into the second week of 2006. Though I have been home in Singapore for about a month, I still feel a sense of dislocation. Though some regard the frequency of flying to and from the US with a certain sense of envy (perhaps), I assure you that it is not something I look forward to. Having to struggle with leaving friends and family behind and looking forward to being with friends and ‘family’ in the US and then having to cope with leaving those friends and ‘family’ behind in order to return home to friends and family here is more than an emotional roller coaster ride that I am adequately equipped to handle. I return to friends and even family members who have moved on in their stations in life and find myself having to pick up the pieces of where we left off. I come back to churches which seem happy to have me back, albeit there are some changes which I find it difficult to comprehend. Though some of the changes are more positive, I guess these are changes that I will have to get accustomed to and can only look back and reminisce about the “good ole days”….. and then look forward to the time when He will come to make all things new and all things right again.

Looking back at 2005...

2005-12-31T21:09:00.000+08:00

This should be the last post for the year and as I look back at 2005, I don’t know what to make of it. As Christmas came round, I was reminded of the many who suffered when the tsunami wrecked countless families in Asia, when some 220,000 lost their lives in the deluge. Indirectly, I can appreciate the sense of loss that the tsunami caused. I found it hard to celebrate Christmas this year because it reminded me of the same time last year when my dad was hospitalised. My family was given the diagnosis on 27th Dec and was told that his condition was terminal. We had hoped to be able to celebrate my parents’ wedding anniversary on New Year’s Day but spent it at the hospital instead. The pastor and some of the kids my parents had looked after helped made it special for them at the hospital, though my dad wanted very much to come back home on that day. In early January, he was discharged to spend his last days at home. Chinese New Year came and went and shortly after that, my dad was called home to be with the Lord. Somehow, Christmases, New Years and Chinese New Years will always be different for my family henceforth.

Christmas is not a time of wintry nostalgia, of mindless merriment, nor should it be the excuse for (a prolonged) episode of annual extravagant consumerism. Some questioned if we should celebrate Christmas in view of all the suffering. And yes celebrating Christmas was indeed difficult for me. But if we keep Christ as the focus of any Christmas celebrations, I don’t think that it is in any way inappropriate to celebrate Christmas - remembering and sharing presents and presence with friends and loved ones.

The first Christmas was an equally difficult time for Mary, Joseph and Jesus. And King Herod who felt his position threatened by the birth of a new king mercilessly massacred all children two years old and under. I cannot begin to imagine the pain the families felt. As I look at what has transpired some 2000 years ago and all that has happened this past year, there is much similarities and I am reminded of the three points, I once read about and shared in a sermon in church.

There is suffering in this world but
there is also a God who comes to share it.
There's uncertainty in this world but
there is also a God who helps us face it.
There's death in this world but
there is also a God who overcomes it.

Death is a part of our lives and we cannot overlook it! But for us, Christmas sounded the death knell for death itself! As with Easter, Christmas is also a reminder that God through Christ has conquered death! As the year comes to a close and as the New Year approaches, perhaps we will continue to hear horrible and heart-wrenching news of dislocation, of destruction, of death. It was the same with the world into which Christ was born. Suffering, uncertainty and death – it was all there! Christ faced it all. It was to such a world and for such a world that He came to help us struggle with these enemies and defeat them.

2005 is not a great year if I saw only the disappointments and the deaths and perhaps 2006 will not be any different. But as I focus on Christ, I can only be grateful and thankful that despite all of it, there is a God who has not and will not leave us alone. Emmanuel, our God is with us….. and that makes 2006 look like another great year. Have a blessed New Year and may THE force be with you.

Of King and Kong....

2005-12-30T23:10:00.000+08:00

It was about a week ago when I returned from New York and on a Friday morning I went to the movies, to catch Peter Jackson’s 3-hour epic, King Kong. Never did I expect that it will be a movie that will move me thus. I found it difficult to hold back the tears as King Kong stretched out his gargantuan palm to hold on to the love of his life, Ann Darrow. King Kong displayed a humanity that was sadly absent in the human characters. King Kong was able to defend his love in the forested jungles of the unknown island, but sadly the love of his life could do little to defend him in the concrete jungles of downtown New York. At the top of the Empire State building, both woman and beast shared a delicate moment of closeness, as the beauty of the rising sun was enjoyed albeit briefly, by both humanity and her fellow creation.

King Kong touched a raw nerve for me because it articulated so eloquently, man’s relentless desire to dominate, to domesticate and if all else fails, to destroy and to devastate, the rest of all creation. We are the reason that there are no longer any passenger pigeons, thylacines, quaggas, Bali tigers and a whole list of fauna as well as flora in the past 100 years. Above all, King Kong chronicles the depravity of humanity, epitomized in the character of Carl Denham. It depicts the depth to which humanity will wallow, in order to gain dominion over the rest of creation as well as each other. Denham disparagingly looks at the dead King Kong and declared that “Beauty has finally killed the beast.” But I thought otherwise, because it was love that killed King Kong, which parallels the fact that it was also love which killed the King of all creation. It was here, two days before Christmas that I learnt afresh and anew, the meaning of grace. Among all of God’s creation, we perhaps are most undeserving and yet God will never leave us alone to in our desperation and in our depravity. And so I wept that Friday watching King Kong, disgusted with human depravity and delighted with divine magnanimity.

King Kong was not the only movie I watched that day. I had also arranged to watch The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe with my di (brother) that same afternoon. Narnia provided a fitting response to the issues which King Kong raised: it is love for which Aslan gave himself in the redemption of humanity, in which blood was required as penalty for human treachery. Narnia is the place where Aslan reigns supreme, the place where all creation is restored to their rightful order.

For me, King Kong articulated humanity depravity, while Narnia chronicles divine sovereignty and anticipates a land where all wrongs will be made right and where evil no longer has her icy grip on humanity or on all of God’s creation. Perhaps there will be a King Kong in Narnia, but I am certain that this Kong will be one which will be cognizant of whom his King is and we do well to know likewise.

A Holy Intrusion

2005-12-25T16:59:00.000+08:00

Once again Christmas 'intrudes' upon us, adding to our already busy schedules. It serves to remind us that God will never leave us alone to wallow in our sinful and selfish desires. He intrudes quietly and oftentimes inconspicuously, in love, seeking for us to make room for Him in the everyday routines of our busy, cluttered lives. Bethlehem had no room for Him some two thousand years ago and it may not be very different even today. But Christmas is a reminder that "despite our efforts to keep Him out, God intrudes. The life of Jesus is bracketed by two impossibilites: a virgin's womb and an empty tomb. Jesus entered our world through a door marked "No Entrance" and left through a door marked "No Exit."" (Peter Larson, Prism).

Here's wishing you all a blessed Christmas and a great year ahead in 2006 as you walk closely with the Lord.

See you in Narnia...

2005-12-08T11:10:00.000+08:00

The Chronicles of Narnia is a series of children's stories the Oxford don, Clives Staples Lewis wrote from 1950 to 1956. Yet it has proven to be a literary legacy which speaks to adults as well, for the message therein is timeless - "the old, old story, yet it's ever new"! And it has been said of Lewis, that "outside of the Scriptures themselves, Lewis is probably the greatest authority and example of a thoughtful Christian faith". (Bob Fryling). Narnia is the literary culmination of a former agnostic as he encounters Aslan. I urge you to take this journey to Narnia this December, and in so doing, hope that you may find yourself "lost in wonder, love and praise" as you encounter Christ this Christmas.

Two Towers?

2005-12-02T03:17:00.000+08:00

No hiding the fact that i am very much into Tolkien's trilogy. i was with two American friends in Chinatown sometime in July this year and as we were walking among the crowds, i caught a glimpse of this sight, which jolted me with this thought: there is a battle which is constantly being waged both within and without. One of the towers represents economics [Capital Tower..... hmm, how apt!] while the other represents religion. And i guess most of us constantly find ourselves entangled in the struggle of supremacy between the two, to the extent that we become so pre-occupied and lose sight of the truth. For ultimately, it is the Truth that sets us free.

alpha...

2005-11-30T00:05:00.000+08:00

i finally got off my procrastination to put this blog up. i've heard of how easy it is to do it and have been wondering if i should get myself into this mode of communication in our increasingly techno-savvy society. Perhaps it's better than mass emailing to keep people in the loop of what's happening in my life, since i have been 'accused' of taking plane rides as though i am taking an MRT ride.

I am currently in New York and it's a couple of days after Thanksgiving and the mad rush of shopping on Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving where all of USA goes into a manic rush for shopping bargains) There were Toshiba Celeron lap tops going for US$199 and 42-inch plasma screen TVs going for about US$1200. I was interested in the 512mb compact flash card, which was going for US$9.99 after rebates but alas, since we went to the shop at 9am (when it was opened at 5am!), there was not a scrap left. On a day like this, i guess it true what they say, that the early hyena gets all the meat, laughing all the way home.

i guess all this mad rush signifies the end of a season and the beginning of another. Autumn came and went in a flash. But while it was autumn, the colours of the 'fall' (as the Americans call it) is beautiful, a cacophony of colours which cheers the calloused souls within, celebrating the artistry of God's creative handiwork.

With the passing of autumn, it is getting cold here in New York, paving the way for winter and the coming Christmas season, pointing us to another new work that the Lord is doing. But what a way to usher in Christmastide with all the mad rush!

In any case, i am still here in New York and working on my dissertation and wondering when will all this come to an end. Quietly i know i am rushing for time as well. But i know that in God's timing, all this will come to pass. i guess in the meantime, i will retreat from this maddening crowd and continue to put my trust in Him and carry on with what i need to do. Thank you for sharing this journey with me and i hope to keep you all updated soon.